Confused

I’m confused.

I know I’m in love, but I don’t know what Stella Pien expects of me. I don’t even know if she knows that I love her, or even cares.
She must know… word travels fast in Kawawa…

Donna Einish mentioned that Stella would accept being my escort, but as friends.

Ah. Of course.

But what are opposite-sex friends supposed to do? I barely know what same-sex friends do; which is to sufficiently say I have very little friends at all.

1999, Kawawachikamach, QC, Jimmy Sandy Memoria...
The three of us. The last of about 30 kids that made it to graduation… 1999, Kawawachikamach, QC, Jimmy Sandy Memorial School Gymnasium, High School Graduation, Johanne Chemaganish, Benjamin Jancewicz and Donna Einish (Photo credit: benjancewicz)

Donna is my friend, she confides in me and I in her. This friendship was started because we are in the same class and she often needs my help with some of her assignments. This friendship is occasionally jostled because of the untidiness of my desk and my occasional recklessness and curiosity.

Joanne Chemaganish is my friend; she confides in me and I in her. She appears to enjoy my company, and I hers. She’s much more lenient to my faults than Donna is…

And now back to Stella. We do not confide in each other, merely exchange occasional shy smiles in the hallway. So how to start up a conversation? Especially with 50 dozen ears roaming up and down the school? And what to talk about?

1999, Kawawachikamach, QC, Jimmy Sandy Memoria...
1999, Kawawachikamach, QC, Jimmy Sandy Memorial School Gymnasium, High School Graduation, Benjamin and Stella Pien (Photo credit: benjancewicz)

We’ve had a total of 2 “conversations”.
One was a shy embarrassed and blurted request on if she would go to the graduation ceremony with me as my escort, and if she would mind the colour navy blue as a dress.

The other was during a Bingo that we were both working at. We were alone, I was on guard duty to keep brats out of the school gymnasium, and she was taking a break from work.

There was a big soft office chair in the mudroom, and so I got up and offered it to her when she came in. We got to sharing complaints about how hard the work was, and she asked me about my friends.

I said I had a pretty lonely life.

“It might seem that way at first…” she began, but then someone crashed through the door and told her to get back to work.

The night creeps on, and I’m growing weary. I’ll continue at a later date.

Share what you think with me.