Skipping Biographies, Planning Mars, Warning Labels, Missing Exes, and Changing Friendships

Questions from Melony Hill’s Writing for My Sanity Therapeutic Writing Workshop, held online. Photo of Nya, me, and Arion by Joe Cardamone.

• In your biography, which chapters would you ask your parents to skip and why?

I would not ask them to skip anything, because I don’t have anything to hide about my parents. But I would provide warnings about sections about my sexual awakening.

I don’t think that most parents really are interested in hearing about their children’s sexuality, despite the fact that most of us end up being sexual people.

One of my favourite books in the Bible from when I was very young was The Song Of Solomon, but its openness and celebration of sensuality always seemed to contradict the cold closed-off attitude I got from the church.

I am a whole person, and won’t hide.

• Imagine we all had to start over on Mars and you were responsible for choosing who gets to be apart of humanity 2.0. How would you decide who gets to go to our new planet?

This is something I would take very seriously. I think it’s extremely important to have a wide variety of diversity to go. Not only genetically (though that is important), but a variety of people from various backgrounds and upbringings. If anything should happen where they would not be able to get home, or if we suddenly became incapable of sending more people, I’d want this group to be the very best humanity has to offer.

That being said, I’d also put some qualifications on entry. Money and wealth would not be an obstacle. Case-in-point, wealth is what currently serves as a bridge to getting to Mars, whether it’s directly by being able to afford to research and build rockets or to be able to afford the education it takes to be an astronaut.

What would be obstacles is things like the intolerance of others. Fascist tendencies. Authoritarian bents. These things have hurt humanity in so many ways, and I would not want them in our new colony.

Historians, educacators, writers, poets, artists, and musicians would be essential to creating a whole society.

I would also offer special access to groups and peoples who have typically been held back from society’s march forward. Non-white people, disabled people, women, youth, and other marginalized people would get special priority.

• If every human came with a warning label, what would yours say? What label would you avoid?

WARNING: Recalcitrant. Tends to not follow authority. Aggressive cuddler. Sensitive and tends to get attached easily. Perpetually optimistic. Has some traumas: they’re not your responsibility, but know they’re being worked on. Occasionally clumsy. Devilishly handsome. Handle with care.

I’d avoid people who label themselves as selfish, dishonest, emotionally unavailable, judgemental, abusive, anti-feminist, racist, controlling, irritable, narcissistic, or people who don’t enjoy being touched.

• What are 3 things your exes probably miss about you?

I know these because some of my exes have told me outright:

  1. My combination of sensitivity and strength gets missed. I’m able to both be strong during chaotic or challenging situations, but I won’t be cut off or cold or distant is something I’m valued for.
  2. I’m very generous with what I have. I’m loyal, and I will make sure you know you are appreciated.
  3. I am a very attentive lover, in all ways. I listen, pay attention, and study the people I love. I keep elaborate notes about what you like and don’t like, down to little things that you might have only mentioned in passing, and remember the ways in which you like to be touched.

I also know that I’ve never not been missed.

• How have your friendships changed since last year?

My friendships have really grown in depth since last year. There have been a lot of people who have really stepped up and really made it known that they wanted to be my friend.

2019 was a very lonely year of rebuilding myself, but especially right after my motorcycle accident, I wasn’t able to be there for my friends like I normally was, and instead they had to be there for me.

This showed me there were people who were only there because of what I gave to them. This also showed me there were people who really valued me for who I was, even if I was drugged up, in pain, and lying flat on my back.

The latter group invested in me and made sure I felt loved, and throughout this year, those relationships have only grown stronger.

Share what you think with me.