Aloha.
Right.
So since 4 o’clock
I worked on this crap
Graphic
Project whose logic
though apparent
is twisted by a prof.
who doesn’t deserve to parent
a class of upandcoming
designers
I’m whining
whatever
So my computer crashed
Along with the entire project
Whoever designed Adobe
programs
needs a gram of brains
and add an autosave
though I shouldn’t complain
it only took me 2 feet
from a 6 foot grave
So I saw an indy rap group
Last night at wilburs’
with Nina Solanki
Whose 21st birthday
was today
what can I say
I still feel ill at ease
I feel hard to please
I feel like I’m pushing into something I should not be pushing into
I’ve been through
Too much pain
Too much rain
Too much of being dragged around with a ball and chain
Too much of this feels the same
She feels for me
But I just want to be friends
And trying to draw the line could bring apocalyptic ends
I contend
I could be a little more willing to bend
A little more open and then
I’d just hide the fact
This irreversible pact
Is something that’s taking me back
But there’s something missing
Something slipping
Something not gripping
I don’t feel like I’m in love
There, I said it.
There, I meant it.
I misrepresent
Myself, like I’m a schizophreniac
Maybe an emotional maniac
Regardless
I’m peaceless
Ripping up an emotion seamless
Ever since I saw Caroline in that green dress
I’ve been unsure
Of what I want
Of even what I need
I feel it’s like greed
Trying to fit my personality
By personalities I read
but I seem to mislead
Creating tracks of seeds
growing friendships
deeper than even I as sower could see
Do you see?
Do you really think a man like I could believe
In true love when I’ve been smashed
Trashed
In a heap that could be mistaken
as a Kamikazi crash
Blast
there I go again
thinking about life again
over analyzing again
I wish it would just end
again.