Song playing: Ah Ha – Take On Me
I’m feeling a little better.
I’m starting to realize I’ve slipped back into not being content as single. I’m not sure where I stumbled, but it could have been something as simple as the craving for a real hug. Or maybe hugs I gave, I’m not sure.
I’m trying to do a little more introspection, and finding out how I can work around this deep sorrow.
I’ve been ripping myself up, and it’s not good.
Nina and I are still finding out about each other, so no need to worry about that. In any case, we have fundamental differences for plans after graduation. She turning out to be a very good friend, regardless about how we may really feel.
Inya just wants to be friends, so no need to worry about that. And even if she doesn’t, it doesn’t matter. Either way, I don’t need to stress myself about it until anything is for sure anyways. There is no need to volunteer how I feel, because I don’t know for sure.
Caroline. Caroline I need to write to. That’s it. It doesn’t need to be spectacular, just simply how she’s doing.
I shouldn’t be worrying myself about it, and I should not try to rush anything simply for my own selfish desires. I need to be happy with myself.
Pagoda recorded this weekend, we’ve got 9 songs ready for a CD. It went really well, I played really well too. It was really tedious, and I was tired of being indoors after the whole ordeal, but it was worth it. We really sound like a full, well-put together band now. I need to make sure everything is ship-shape for the CD cover to put in my part.
I am still feeling a bit of competition from Franchina (our bassist), especially from the other members of the band. I don’t feel comfortable enough around him, I guess. I’m working on creating a solid image for the band, and Lox suggested I get Franchina to help. I said I’d be fine. As much work as I have to do, the Band imagery (website, t-shirts, CDs) are something I’ve been working on very very hard, and I want to get it done just the way I like it. I think I’d be more open to doing future projects with him together, but he’s not going to jump right in the middle of this.
On the other hand, I really bonded with Franchina the rest of the time during the recording.
Been listening to a lot of techno & dance music lately, I find that it keeps me active and my spirits high. Also I’ve been tearing around on my Moped. It’s kinda good when you’re frustrated, because the speed of the thing forces you to cry. It feels good.
I have a lot of work to get back to. but the journal helps. I’m not going to stop writing it.