Author: benjancewicz

Song currently Playing: SalsaKids – Dejame un beso que me dure

Oie, sleepy. I’m beginning to spend too much time here.
I’m going to have to schedule my time here carefully, because I have too much fun. I get caught up in submitting and seeing other peoples work too much.

You know what? Girls are far too teasing. It is so hard to tell what they’re thinking. It’s great. 😀

I want to try something. As soon as the right opportunity arises, I’m going to tell her I have a crush on her. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone just outright saying that.

And right now, I’m pretty much to the point where I feel like just saying it. She’s cute, she’s very kind, sweet, exciting, friendly, and kinda mysterious. And cute. Very very cute. Incredibly cute. Makes me want to sit in her presence just to feel the glow of her beauty. And if she weren’t so nice to me, I’d think she was too high above me. I’d like to know more about her, and I’m wondering if this is the way.

Two obstacles: Friendship & History.

She’s a good friend. I don’t want things to get completely out of kilter because I decided to light a fuse.

The past still haunts me. I dreamt of Caroline last night, and it was weird. Dreams are really vivid for me, they all are, and 90% of the Deja Vu.
Anyways, I dreamt I was talking to her about why we broke up. And she kept giving reasons that were designed to just to make me feel better. I could tell it was fake, so I woke myself up. I’ve never done that before. It was very very weird.

So, I don’t think I’m QUITE over that. I’m going to take it slow. We’ll see how things look at the end of the summer.

Ah, the weekend.

Work is piling up again. I’m taking photography here at the college as a summer course. I can use the credits; it’s cheaper than the regular year, and the class is small so our photo professor (who happens to rock) gets to spend more time with just us (only about 6 of us in the class).

This does mean extra work for the next 3 weeks, though, and taking lots of pictures. Professional photography is so expensive! I’m learning a lot, though, and I’ll be able to improve my photography to make some more hi resolution work.

I’m also learning the basics of developing too, which is really fun to play with. I might put up one of those for my next photo work.

As for the rest of life, I feel torn.
I shouldn’t be.
I really shouldn’t.
I need to calm down my own infatuation and just be happy like I usually am. It’s so hard to decide when you’re spending too much time with a person that it might be taken the wrong way. If I really followed what I felt, I would just spend all my time with this particular group of people.
Rough, rough, rough. People are already talking. I try to spread out my time with other people, but it really makes it worse at times.

People keep trying to hook me up. I just DON’T want to think about it so that I can just concentrate on friendships. I would never want anyone who wasn’t my friend first anyways.

And yet know that I’ve spread my time out, it almost seems I’m avoiding those whom I’d much rather hang out with…

Blast.

Could someone please give me another helping of chaos? I’m not stressed enough yet.

Tomorrow, I’m going to drive into Harrisburg, park, and just spend the day snapping pictures. I need a break.

*sigh*

Good evening deviants, I’m back.

It’s been a busy week, a couple new design jobs are aligning themselves up for me, so, I may be even more elusive if I deem them worthy of time.

Citizenship papers have come to a standstill, I can’t find a prof. around to sign some stuff for me, since summer is now in full swing & they’re out enjoying the rest of their lives.

And though summer IS in full swing, it’s still rainy & very very English around here right now. I want sun. As much as I love storms, this doesn’t quite cut it. Nothing full-blown. Just miserable drizzles.

Hasn’t kept me down, though. I spent the past week every night up on Bittner 3rd, visiting people & watching lots of movies. Friendships & a lot of other things are rapidly developing, & it’s hard to keep track of them.
Ah, L’amour— Mais, c’est trop dangerous, pour un jeune homme qui est bien gentil! 😉

I think I’ve come full circle now, and I can restart the cycle. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been starting a rotation of artwork:

3D (Mercury Sprite)
Photo (Ancient America)
Writing (Star-Crossed)
Handwork (Dawn)
Design (Bria’s Spread)

Now it’s time to restart, and so my next output will be 3-Dimensional.

Hope your day is as good as my night is going to be!

Sorry I haven’t been around, I traveled to the above listed places this weekend, bringing people to hotels, airports, and homes for the summer. Didn’t make much, but didn’t loose much either.

I’m a little more relaxed now; gotten some sleep enough to get me back on schedule.

Watched Matrix Reloaded last night too, that was awesome. I’ve got a bunch of theories on what’s happened. I love the way those movies make you think. Really tests my observation skills.

I’m looking about for a PHP writer, I’d like someone to write me a forum. I’ve got a couple friends on campus who might be able to help me, but we’ll see. I’d like to integrate Flash into it too. I’m taking a Dreamweaver class tomorrow, that should help me with the basics and get me over that initial jump I always have to make.

Graphics work will be posted tonight. 🙂

Good evening,

I must retire early tonight, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I’m taking a couple friends to Philly via the taxi service. We’re leaving at 5, just after work. It promises to be a fun, but interesting trip. 🙂 The personalities of those accompanying me do not exactly mesh in the politest terms, so it will be a show to watch how things like choosing what music to play work themselves out.

I’m continuing my search for people who are trying to make this place better. Unlike most forums I’ve been in, I figure this place is big enough that there must be some other people who seek the same thing I do.

I met jark today, he seems a rather cynical, yet amiable character. It seems DA has changed him, from reading the posts & art he’s created before.

I also met silentkitty (I wish I knew how to link properly here). She got an award from DA this month, and so I checked her stuff out. I really like her type of cartooning, as obvious from my new favorites addition. I’ve read some of her forum posts too, and she seems nice, but a bit swamped.

I think I’m going to start mentioning the people I’ve met here. It’s not an evaluation, or a comparison, just a simple recollection of what I’m seeing in this new place.

Absolutely glorious day. Picturesque glory, from horizon to horizon. I spent the entire afternoon in a field, watching the clouds. Wonderful.

This evening, it got better (though I thought it was going to be tediuos when I started). If you remember from yesterday, I had been driving all over the place with taxi service, and I really didn’t feel like it.
Well, one of my girl friends requested a taxi service to Wal-Mart for “only an hour”. I agreed, since she was willing to give me 2$ for gas.

Since I agreed on the basis that it was going to be a taxi service, and came prepared with some work (sketching) I could do while they shopped. However, while I was waiting for people to show up, this wonderful (and VERY attractive) girl (whom I will decline to name [get used to it 😉 ] ) shows up and sits in the passenger seat and chats with me. She really wanted to go, and the smile in her eyes was more than I could bear. I said sure.

When everything was done, SEVEN international girls piled into my van (one whom I had just met) and we took off. I popped in a CD I had prepared for just such an occasion, and we sang the entire way to the plaza.

When we got there, we all went to DOTS (which, if you don’t know, is a clothing store entirely of women’s clothes) and the absolutely gorgeous ladies began trying on different outfits, and had me stand by the dressing room asking my opinion.

Some of you guys may think this is torture, but I was in heaven. I’m not sure exactly how to describe it, but at that moment, to them I was the most caring and noble guy in all creation. Not many guys do that kind of thing; waiting patiently while girls shop, but I tell you right now. They love men who do. I even got a comment and a smile from the cute cashier who thought I was “quite a gentleman”.

I may not be much to look at, but I really do try to be a “Knight of the Old Code”. Not many do that anymore.

And during the course of the evening, I got to amble around various shops talking with the different girls about things, and just finding out what was going on in their lives.

It was fun.

Ah, me. Enough for tonight.

Bonne nuit!

Wow, another busy day. Spent the whole day running the taxi service. Made quite a bit, so not so bad, but kinda tired of driving at the moment.

Looks as if things have slowed here. I guess that
s what happens on weekdays. Ah well.

I’m hoping I can get a Rhino 3D book from the library. I really want to learn that.

Want to start learning a 5th language more fluently too, so I’m going to do some more research on Chinese (Cantonese) tapes in the library.

Looked into various hosting places and found a particularly good one called lunarpages. I think I’ll make it a project to build a pro site this summer. Get my rear working with Dreamworks a little more seriously, anyways. 🙂

Hmmm…. Photo, Bryce…. I think I’ll try poetry tonight. 🙂

Missed my final this morning; the power went out and my alarm reset itself. The professor was kinda forgiving and took my work anyway, though. Submitted extra credit work to Graphics prof, and then came home.

The is a very… lonely place, I’m starting to see. I’m not at all certain how everything works here, but am determined to learn.

Welcome to DeviantArt.

What a rough beginning. It seems this place is no stranger to people with poor judgments and cruel hearts.

It seems I may have to put up a fight here, just like everywhere else, though I had hoped it would be different.

Perhaps I can find some sanctuary here, though it seems that there are few places on the web (save my own forum) that are welcoming to those who might prize morals, courtesy, and a common love and respect for other people regardless of status.

I just can not comprehend how one views the world and how one views art could be so disconnected for some people.

*sighs*

Mood: Happy .: SunshineInside :.
Listening to: .: Joe – Treat her like a Lady :.
Reading: .: Everything but the Burden :.
Watching: .: Hellboy :.

Aloha!

Got up at 12!
Getting better…

Worked on Wiiskichaan for a bit, and rerouted the throttle cable. It helped it from running high, but later on in the day it rose again, and it idling at 4000 rpm now. Lower than it was, but still to high.

Zipped down to Lottie for lunch. Grace Li, Suji Yoon and their friend were there. They were finished, but waited around for me and we all just talked. I found Ed wandering around in the food court, so I invited him to sit with us. Grace agreed to play for my Senior Art show exhibition opening on the 17th, but she needed to check her schedule first.

I got a bag for the back behind the seat, so I can put tools in it and such.
I rode out to Ollie’s and bought some cheap spray paint and cleaning supplies. The bike could use some surface work. I also found some black high-temperature paint; its designed for painting exhaust systems and the like. The muffler and the exhaust pipes are pretty rusted, so I’m going to paint them down after I buff them.

I went to Wal-Mart after that (Ollie’s didn’t have primer) but I accidentally left the light on. For some odd reason, the bike wouldn’t start from the kick-start at all. I’m not sure how this is related to the battery; since Skidoos don’t have batteries and start fine without them. But after pumping it a couple dozen times, I gave up and sat reading in McDonald’s for a while. I know that if you leave batteries for alone for a little bit with no charge escaping; they’ll build up a little charge.
I was right, and after half an hour it started up fine.

I got home and into Lottie just before the door closed. I had packed a sandwich, though so I wasn’t really hungry. I had promised Helina Zewdu a ride on the bike as soon as I got it fixed, so after dinner I zipped up to the house to get my “dorky lookin’ helmet” and gave her a ride. I took her around the countryside around campus. The sun was setting, and it was beautiful. I think she liked it.

As soon as I got back, I met Joseph Chebbet, Boon, Lalrempuii and Janice VanHaltren going out to the movies. The car only held 4, so I gladly hopped on Wiiskichaan and followed them.
We split up at the theater; the girls went to see The Prince and Me and us three guys went to see Hellboy. I would have preferred not to have split up, but I figured the heck with it. It was rather odd, though. There was tension between everyone. I’m not sure if it was because of me or not. I sat next to Joseph in the movie and we laughed a lot. Boon was pretty quiet as usual.
Hellboy’s cool. Comic hero movie, much like Daredevil, but I liked this one better than Daredevil. Better storyline and much better acting, surprisingly. The ads on TV made it seem like the acting would be bad, but it wasn’t. Lots of action, and a lot of blowing up alien-looking creatures. I think the comic book is better, and it wasn’t worth the 5$ I paid. Oh well. 🙁

When we got out, the girls were waiting for us. They kind of sat around a while, and I donned my helmet. Joseph said they were going to go eat, and I said I’m meet them back at the house.

It was already dark, so no working on Wiiskichaan. 🙁

When I got in, Karin Glinton, Tolu, Heather and Richard were there. They watched some movie with The Rock in it. He’s a pretty good actor.

Collins and a couple others are going down to MD to visit Agaba, but I think I’m going to go to Global Outreach church with Helina and Rachael.

I gotta get to bed, if I’m going to do that, though. 😀

Happy Easter!