Author: benjancewicz

Well, I talked to my dad last night…

My sister was online and I yakked with her for a while, and asked her if dad was around. He was sleeping, but she woke him up. I felt bad, but I usually get back so late. That’s why I haven’t called lately, but last night was an emergency. It’s even worse that I don’t have an actual phone plan, so I always have to call collect.

It turns out I’d never be able to make it to my sister’s party, because the train schedule to Connecticut is funky.

The money situation does not look good, but I’m going to the business office today to see what I can do. Maybe they’ll except a partial payment. I dunno. We’ll see. I’m going to run the book business for all it’s worth, so maybe I’ll be able to scrape together a little extra money. Actually, if they kick me out of college, it might be nice to vagabond for a while on the motorcycle.

I got it insured yesterday, Progressive should be sending me the insurance card soon. It only cost 101$ for the ENTIRE YEAR. I got some extra coverage because it was so cheap.

I went with Setti, Helina, and Agaba to the airport last evening to pick up some new international students.
Helina and Agaba were rather loud and argued about everything the entire way there and back, but I had some nice conversations with Setti while we waited.

We picked up Karin Clinton and her brother and mother first; she’s from the Bahamas, and she’s going to be an accounting major. She’s very confident it seems, not worried about anything. A very nice girl. She and her family went to a hotel.

Wee Lee, a new student from Malaysia, came late because he got pulled aside by the customs people. We checked with the airline, though, and found out that he would be coming on the next flight; so we waited for him. He’s a nice kid, bright and easy going. He’s thinking about being an economics major.
He slept at the Rafiki House, because they had no key for his dorm (incompetent schmucks, that’s some welcome). Anyhow, he seemed to enjoy the house, so I think he’ll like it here.

We didn’t bring any signs, because I refuse to. I love watching people in airports. 9 times out of 10 I can guess who the person we’re picking up is. Some of you may remember that I have this sense to tell what people are feeling?
I like standing by the terminal door and let their thoughts wash over me. And if you watch hard enough, you can find them alright. I picked them both out right away, even though the information they had given us was wrong. They told us Karin was from Mexico, and we didn’t know whether Wee Lee was a boy or a girl!
It was fun, though. Helina and Agaba were freaking out that we’d never find them, even after I reassured them that I had never missed anyone that had been my fault. (I had missed one, but it turned out that their flight was canceled, so it wasn’t my fault). Setti thought it was cool, so she hung out with me while I watched.

I’m going to the business office at lunch. Wish me luck!

Song currently playing: “John Williams – Hook Theme”

The new Rafiki House is everything we expected it to be and more. The place is beautiful. Two years of protesting, rallys, and meetings have finally paid off. The house has returned to it’s previous state at last.
People are over every night, often until 1 or 2 in the morning. It’s so wonderful to spend time with such close friends again.

Lalrem has been over to the house a lot, though I’m beginning to see that she doesn’t find guys like me to her liking. She seems to gravitate towards those in the group that are a little more shady and deceitful. We’ve still been hanging out a lot, though, we play together almost every night. Her on the guitar and me on the piano; we’ll bang out songs by Weezer, Guns n’ Roses and Collective Soul.

The motorcycle is running great. It’s such a beautiful machine. It doesn’t have a license plate or insurance yet, so I’ve been riding around and around campus on it; staying away from public roads. Shifting is hard to learn, but I’ve got the hang of it really good now. I’m even getting smooth with the turn signals.

The moped runs great with it’s new spark plug, but the front tire went flat. I think I’ll have to patch it up sometimes soon. It’s going to be my main transportation in the winter.

I kinda in a bad way money wise. I just got a letter from the college saying I owe them 3,500$ for tuition by the 25th of August. It’s a lot more than I expected, and I only have half of that in the bank. I don’t know what I’m going to do about it. I don’t think my parents can help me out this year; they’re kinda hard on cash at the moment. I’m going to go down to the business office and see if I can get an extension until December. I should have enough by then.

My parents want me to come to Connecticut this weekend, it’s my sister’s birthday. I really want to go, but they don’t know the money situation yet. They want to buy me a train ticket to come. I’m going to call them tonight.

I must get back to work.

Song currently playing: [b]Bond – Oceanic[/b]
If you haven’t heard this group and love classical or techno, you have to listen to them. They’re an all-female string quartet, and their music is amazing.

Work has gotten a little busier, we’re wrapping things up down at Boyer and putting the final touches on the lab installations. It’s just about done, but my boss has to go over an check one small thing; because they didn’t make the holes in the desks big enough for the power plugs. 😀

On Wednesday I went out to Passage to India, a rather good Indian restaurant in Harrisburg. Nina, Lalrem, Inya, Regina, Collins, Joseph, David, Uma, Priscilla, Ellen, Ria, Angie, Setti and Agaba all went, all in honour of Lalrem and Collins’ birthday. We had to sit at two separate tables, unfortunately.

I knew the food was going to take a while; so I decided to go out for a walk down the Susquehanna River. I swear, Harrisburg has the most beautiful set of bridges this side of Rome. The sun was setting, and people were out in motorboats. It was very humid and hazy, and without too much imagination I could believe I was in another country. It was cool by the river, and I walked a while.

I got back just in time for the food to arrive. I had ordered a Chicken dish (I can’t remember the name it’s a long one that starts with an X) and Mango Lassi (if you’re ever in an Indian Restaurant, order Mango Lassi. It’s a heavenly iced drink with Mango, ice, yogurt, and pistachio) The recipe is here if you want it [link] I love Indian food, but I think I got slightly sick from Setti’s dish (there was something wrong with it). Everything else was delicious.

We all went for a short walk after dinner, breaking up into small groups, and I got to talk to Nina some more. We ran around through the arches along the riverwalk, and Uma teased me to no end (she loves doing that).

I had lunch with Nina yesterday…

I “happened” to go for lunch 10 minutes early.
I suppose in the back of my mind I knew I was doing it, because I rushed to get the PCs I had to install done before lunch. I’d been installing Teacher Stations in Jordan and Kline. It’s a pain to do that, because the DVD players and VCRs in each classroom are all chained down, and the computer’s wires have to weave into that tangled mess (when you have projectors in classrooms, you end up having a lot of wires).
I got done early, though, and walked on down to the Falcon.

My thoughts were buzzing, and (among other things) I wondered if I would meet her. Lost in my thoughts, I rounded the corner and almost walked right into her!
She smiled, I recovered, and asked her if she was going to lunch. We hopped down the stairs.

Lunch was good, I made myself a sandwich and a Benjamite Frapuccino, and she got herself some chicken fingers.
She was quicker than me, naturally, and got a seat right past the register. She smiled as I checked out, and I joined her. We talked for a while, slowly eating our lunch. We talked mostly of her. She’s living in Harrisburg next year, in apartments that the college is lending out. I rather like Harrisburg, and know my way around there well. Her apartment isn’t ready yet, however, apparently the renovations scheduled to be done aren’t going to be completed in time for the move. Unfortunately, she won’t be around for when they’re completed; so she’s moving temporarily into another apartment.
She’s going for a weeks’ vacation in New Hampshire, and I recommended visiting the Basin. The Basin is a gigantic natural formation of rocks several miles long that have been carved out by river and glacier. It’s a really cool place, one of my family’s favorite hangouts on our way down from Northern Quebec when we drive.

Priscilla eventually joined us, and we kept talking. Nina stayed longer than she usually does. I think they must know each other from previous, for some reason. Just a feeling.
Nina finally had to leave and go back to work, and Priscilla and I spoke longer.

I move to the new Rafiki House today; I got off work early so I can move everything. I have until 9:00 PM, but I think I’ll get done early so I can clean the old house for the next person in line. The new place is gorgeous, tan carpets, track lighting, sweet kitchen, and Ethernet in every room. It also has a basement lounge, which will have a TV, Ping Pong Tables, Couches, and will be open 24 hours. I can’t wait!
Cathy Poisez, the housing director is a little nervous, because they’re still doing renovations there as I write. I think they’re be done by noon, though. We’ll see.

In any case, the next time I’m online, I should be in my new house!!!

Why is it that a girl can brush up to you at lunch, rub close, smile, say a few words and disappear… and you think about her the rest of the bloomin’ day?

Nina is a friend of mine. She is half Indian (from India) and half Filipino, and though we locked eyes some time ago and did the smile-when-you-see-them thing for the past two years, I’ve only actually properly met her the beginning of this summer.

It turns out we’d both been meaning to meet each other, though neither of us can explain why. She always was one of the first people into breakfast at 7AM, and consequently the first to leave. Her departure usually coincided with my arrival at 7:15, though she would always smile mysteriously before she left.
It was the smile that intrigued me, and persuaded me to shave off a couple minutes in the shower to meet her.
Finally, we sat at the same table at the same time.
People chattered around us, some dozing into their cereal bowls, others griping about the status of the eggs.
I had rushed in, as I usually did, picked out my food and sat down. She sat at the other side of the table, watching me curiously.
I chowed down, eggs, bacon, cereal, oatmeal,– wait.
She had been finished for some time now. He plate was empty, her glasses downed. She fiddled with her orange juice cup. She smiled.
I gulped down my mouthful of eggs, and took a sip of milk “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.”
She smiled, and stopped playing with the cup. “I don’t either.”
I smiled back. “I’m Benjamin Young Savage.”
“My name is Nina Solanki.”
“I’ve been meaning to meet you, but you always disappear before I can even get to the table. I’ve… seen you for a while, but just never got the chance; I suppose.”
“Yeah, me too.”
I raised my glass and took another swig. “You’re Indian, aren’t you? I noticed you wore a sari to the International Banquet this past year.”

…it went from there, even long after I had finished breakfast.

It turns out she’s kinda shy, and usually keeps to herself. Her summer job keeps her on the far side of campus, and she lives in a dorm that’s on the rim too because part of her job is being the hostess to the guest that stay there during the conferences.
She usually sits by herself in the dining hall too, but after I got to know her (ok, after the first day I met her) I began sitting at her table (asking cordially each time, of course). I tend to have the ability to transcend every “clique” anywhere by getting to know key members of the clique, so consequently people began following my lead and soon an entire new group formed.

Anyhow, I asked her for her phone number a week or two back, because she still stayed by herself in her room most nights. Almost every evening someone is usually planning something (movies, volleyball, ultimate Frisbee, shopping, road trips, etc.) and I thought it would be cool to get to know her more if I invited her along.
So, smiling, she gave it to me, and that evening I gave her a ring about a movie we were watching (Monsoon Wedding; good movie) and left her a message telling her to call me back even if she couldn’t make it.
She didn’t call me back.
I didn’t want to seem too pushy, so though I kept calling; I didn’t leave any more messages. I still wanted her to come, but didn’t want to be to extroverted and scare her off.

I hadn’t seen her for a little while, and though I kept calling her, she was never around. I think she went on vacation.

However, today I saw her again. Lottie was closed because they’re redoing the carpeting, so we ate lunch in the Falcon, an on-campus deli-style place. They have an ice cream bin with a lot more different kinds of ice creak bars than Lottie. I was standing there considering which to take, when suddenly she she moved up next to me, bumping me over.
“Hey you.” She smiled, “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Seen me? I’ve been calling all the time, but you’re never home…”
She looked at me wide eyed. “You have? But you only left one message…”
“Well, yeah. You didn’t call me back, so I didn’t want to be too intrusive… I still call you whenever anythings going on, though, but you’re never home…”
“Really? Well… um, I haven’t been around… but.. you can.. you can still leave messages, you know.. I don’t mind…”
“You sure? I don’t want to bug you..”
“No! I mean, it’s ok, you can call me..”
“Ok.” I smiled “I will.”

I picked out an ice cream bar. “I don’t think they’ll be much going on this week; with everyone moving.”
She picked out one too. “Oh, that’s fine.”
She smiled, and turned to her friends.
I turned to check out, glowing… for some reason…

Wait– she was heading the other way…
“Nina! Where are you sit– did you eat alrea–”
She turned. “Oh, I already ate. See you…”
She smiled, and disappeared.

I began singing softly to myself, and ended up singing the rest of the day.

Lois walked into the food court and smiled at me. She loaded up her tray, and met me at the beverages.
As we were pumping soda into our cups she looked over at me.
“Where are you sitting?” We asked simultaneously.
“Booth?” she inquired.
“Booth.” I grabbed another cup “Benjamite Frappuccino first. I’ll meet you there.” I

mixed myself some hot cocoa, French Vanilla cappuccinos, Mocha cappuccinos, ice, milk and a dash of coffee and headed to the booths.

Lois and I have been hanging out the past couple days. A good friendship is growing, I think. I’d been up to her room with Kanke almost every night since Friday, and on Saturday we went out to see S.W.A.T. (ok movie, typical good-cop/bad-cop movie, lots of explosions, and a girl that kicks butt. No sex, surprisingly though) with some friends (all girls). It was strange. We got there rather early, and since I was holding the door, I got into the seats last. Lois seemed to have arranged it so I sat next to her. Not only that, but she sat on my right. (good for conversation; since I’m deaf in my left ear).

Anyways, we sat there about a half an hour before the movie started, and got to talking. Something happened, though, and our thoughts kept matching up. That happens with me and other people sometimes, if we’re close friends. In any case, it happened quite a bit and even into the movie. I think she found it a bit strange, but intriguing. There’s definitely some kind of connection. How strong it is, I don’t know.

I do know she’s still looking for “the One” still, and it’s been discouraging after her ex boyfriend. She’s humorous about it, though. She’s a very very strong girl.
Whether I’m on her list or not I don’t know… I am white; and that’s not one of her major considerations it seems. I don’t know.
She seems to be looking at me different; though I don’t know in which way.

I’m so tired, I’ve spent the entire evening cleaning out the basement.

Goodnight…

Aloha.

Busy life for Ben, it’s been 2 weeks since the beginning of school.

I’m taking Senior Seminar, Ceramics, Graphics III and Swimming. It’s only 10 credits but the weight of the work is crushing me. AND I have to sign up for more credits or I won’t graduate. I hate this. I don’t feel like I’m given enough time to absorb anything, and it almost refutes the amount of money I’m shelling out to be here.

I’m now in the clear; with my parents’ help I just made it financially. I feel so miserable, because my parents are really hard on money already, and my sis is starting college next fall. I haven’t sold anything online in months, and I’m not sure why.

I am working 15 hours a week for SCS still, but that’s killing me too, because it means I don’t have enough time to study or practice clay.

Ceramics is the hardest course, demanding close to triple class time in outside work. AND that’s if you’re good at it. I suck at it. My clay I was just working on flew across the room off the wheel. I’m taking a short break from that to write this. Needless to say, I probably won’t be submitting any artwork for a while.

And, to even add to my feeling crummy, I haven’t sent out my sister’s birthday card I made for her (her B-day was Aug 26th) because the post office is never open when I have a free slot of time. It isn’t open until I’m already in class, isn’t open over lunch, and is closed by the time I get out of class.

Pagoda seems to be demanding more and more time, the boys want to add a second practice every week, and I’m already hard pressed to even have one a week. The load is just too much. I’m having rocky feelings about the band, it seems I’m not helping anyone by being there, and it’s slowly deteriorating my peripheral sense of morality. I’m saying things I shouldn’t be saying by hanging out with them and it’s starting to worry me. I often feel like the 5th wheel, no matter how much I help them in certain areas of composition. There just isn’t that much of a place for a piano in a rock band.

Gospel Choir has started up again, and I feel right at home in that.

Strangely, even with all that’s been going on, I feel surprisingly close to God. He’s been keeping me stable, even though everything else has been falling apart. I’m not sure how this is going to work out, but I guess we’ll see.

I HAVE to remember to add another class by the 15th, that’s the last day to do it.

I hate being a senior. I don’t want to leave all my friends.
I hate all this pressure, it doesn’t give me enough time to think.
I just want to learn. If I had the funds, I’d study at least 5 more majors just because I love to learn.

Could I study on my own? I wish I could.

Aloha!

Disorienting as it is, I think DA3 is good.
They’ve got a lot of bugs to work out, my main pet peeve the DevWatch. I usually keep pretty up to date on that, and while I don’t have time to comment on every single Deviation, I enjoy viewing them very much.
And consequently, so that they don’t have as much to update, I’m not submitting anything until Devwatch is back up.

I know it seems silly, but a single drop of water can make the difference to an overflowing dam.

Ah well, patience with the hard at work programmers. Much respect from me to Jark, Chris & Pachunka. They deserve a whole lot of props for getting this up, and anyone who says otherwise needs a little patience anyways. 😀

My apologies to those who have added me to their Devwatch recently; I will update the list below as soon as DA3 is working again.

I have submitted a poem to the infamous , who has graciously agreed to proofread my poetry. He is incredibly well-knowledged in this area, and I’d be awefully stupid to ignore his advice.
The poem will be my first submission as soon as DA3 is up.

Thank you very much for consoling me, and ; your kind words have really helped immensely. What I went through was rough (as you both now better understand); and despite my ever-optimistic attitude, sometimes I realize all too well sadness can be beautiful too.
I’m ok now, trying to secure new handholds to keep my hope up.

It’s a rough thing, you know? Being a romantic and having no one to love. I suppose being a hopeless romantic isn’t too bad. I just hope it doesn’t come off as being desperate, because I’m not.

I’ve been hanging out with Inya a lot, she’s quite the girl. She’s a wonderful person to talk to, and simply hand out and do nothing with. She does get a bit touchy on issues of race at times, though.
It’s strange. I’ve been through more racial hate than most people I know, but I’m the most laid back about it. I mean, it ticks me off that people get discriminated against; but when it comes to prejudice against me, they might as well save their breath. There isn’t anything I haven’t heard, and it isn’t going to affect me.
I’d much rather figure out ways of getting around the system than complain about it.

Oh well. People have different views, so let them be. It does seem, however, one misplaced comment could end her friendship with me, though. I don’t know. I don’t know her enough, I don’t think.

Lalrem and perhaps Regina are going to DC tomorrow, and most other people are heading out too.
This week has been incredibly easy at work, I usually get out early. I’ve been trying to hack into the printer system so I can print on a decent printer for the Moment game, but all printers are locked down, and the one in the library needs cleaning.

I guess I’ll get it printed out sooner or later, but I just want to get it done so I can play the darn thing.

My camera is busted, I’m going to have to take it apart and fix it sometime soon. The focus motor is misaligned, I think. It fell while I was trying to take a band picture down and Echoes Recording. I think I can fix it, but we’ll see.

I’m building a computer for Pagoda, and have gotten pretty far. I’ve got 2 hard drives that work, with a total of 15GB. It’s a recycled Athlon 800 Mhz processor, in a mother board with USB ports. It took me all afternoon, but I got that far. Next is a floppy drive and CD writers. If I can get those and the sound cards up by Monday, we’ll be in business!!!

I’m off to 3rd Floor Bittner now, Inya invited me over to her room to hang out.

Cheerio!

Song currently playing: Delirium – After All

Aloha…

We recorded this past weekend, and it went awesome. The pictures are up on .
We drove down to Maryland to this little dilapidated farmhouse. It really looked like a wreck, like something out of a cheap thriller movie where the deranged country bumpkin kills all his neighbors.
But once we got inside, we were impressed. Apparently Todd, the Studio’s manager, can’t do any exterior renovations due to strict building codes near Antietam. Proof that you shouldn’t judge by the outside…
We set up and got to work right away. Todd was a really friendly guy, and the band warmed to him easily.
Saxton and I weren’t doing the hottest, however, he had a sinus infection and I was still getting over the cold. I tried singing “Love Song For No One At All” that day, but just couldn’t do it for lack of breath.

That night we stayed at Saxton’s uncles’ place, he has a really nice house in upper-class Frederick suburbia. We were bushed and pretty much passed out on the couches in his basement. We went swimming the next morning in their pool, all save Spam; who hates water.

We drove back and hit the studio again, and by the time we were done we had 4 songs completely recorded, mixed and mastered. I still wasn’t able to sing at full potential, so with Todd’s help we piecemealed “Love Song” together. I think Saxton wanted to do the lyrics over again too, but we ran short on time. Poor guy was really hurting from the sinus infection.

Monday at lunch I had a meeting with Dining Services, they’d like to hire me as the web designer this fall. They weren’t too clear on the details, so I requested they send me the full job description and I’d consider it. It may work out, it may not. Student Computer Services has been pretty good to me, and I have a certain loyalty to them. We’ll see what they offer.

Monday evening I practiced with Lox some more; working on “Tidal Machines”. I rewired the Rhodes completely, so now I can play the Rhodes and the Yamaha at the same time, as well as running effects pedals. Lox is getting some pretty sweet fingerings for his guitar part for that song.

Tuesday went a little weird. I got off work early, and actually had a chunk of time where I had nothing to do.

I listened to Delirium’s “After All” and nearly broke down in tears. I haven’t been that affected by a song in a long time. The lyrics, if they had been written for a guy, would fit my situation exactly. It hurt really bad.
I don’t understand. It’s been almost a year since I broke up with Caroline. Why is it I still think of her every single day? It hurts too much. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. But I feel so wounded.
I suppose I do understand; I gave everything to love. So, when love left me, I had nothing. I feel so empty. God is still there, but I’m just a waif of what I once was.

Maybe it’s something else. I think me falling into crushes isn’t helping. But it’s so hard. I see these wonderful girls around me, and can’t help but be attracted to them. That’s the trouble with seeing the beauty in everything. You end up havin trouble deciding what is best for you.

I drifted around campus, like a ghost. I felt like I’d been stabbed, but no one noticed the wound. I went to dinner, I ate alone.

I kept drifting. Something kept drawing me to Bittner 3rd, I wasn’t quite sure what it was.
I kept walking, and was so dazed I seemed to loose consciousness and wake up to find myself on another part of campus.
Finally, I woke up in front of Regina’s door.
I stopped for a moment.
I knocked.
“Come on in!” she called.
The door was locked.
“I can’t!” I said.

I wasn’t sure why I was in front of her door. I’m not sure how I got there.

She opened the door and smiled. “Hi Ben!”
I looked through the door, then to her. “There’s no one else here?” Usually people would come hang out there, it gave me an excuse to hang out too, I suppose. She was dressed in boxers & a tee. Looked like she was going to bed or just coming from it.
“Nope, just me.” It didn’t look like the best time.
“You’re not working tonight?” Dumb question.
“Nope, I had off.”
“Oh, ok.” I was stammering now.

There was silence.
I smiled.
She smiled.

“Um, yeah”. I stammered some more.
She smiled. She smiled so warmly. The door wavered back and forth.

There was silence.
I smiled.
She smiled.
“Awkward.” I said sheepishly…
She laughed.
“I guess I’ll see you later, then…”
“Ok.” she said.
I turned to leave.
“You can come in if you want to…” she called after me.
I turned. I smiled sadly. “No, that’s ok. I don’t think it would be a good idea. I’ll see you.”
“See you…” She paused at the door a moment, and then turned to go back inside; leaving the door open.

I rounded the corner of the hall, and pounded my fist into it.
“Stupid.” I growled under my breath. Paint fell from the wall where I had planted my fist, but I didn’t feel anything.
Down the hall, Janice rounded the corner.
“Hey, Ben!” she smiled.
“Hi Janice..” I called back.
She paused.. “Are you.. ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine!” I called back, a little too loudly, a little to cheerily. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, ok.” She disappeared into her room.

I stumbled down to the lounge and plopped myself down on the couch. I was dazed. I wasn’t quite sure what had happened back there. Why was I always making excuses to go to Regina and Lalrem’s room? Why had I ended up there. Why had I froze? Why hadn’t I gone in? What the devil was wrong with me? Did I have a CRUSH on her? I don’t know. The questions sang louder and louder. I was completely inert, I sat staring blankly into the wall.
Why do girls have such a big effect on me? Why did I loose all control? Why do I feel such an overpowering desire to love and be loved?

I felt like a beast in a cage. I was fooling myself, no girl here even finds me remotely attractive. To them, I’m the goofy freak on a leash, the sometimes funny; often annoying kid who’s class ranking sets distance unfathomable. I seem older than I am at times, younger than I am at times, but never the age where they would take me seriously.

I sat there for 3 hours. I completely spaced out. Inya stopped by, asking me what was wrong, but I successfully diverted the conversation away from myself and let her move on to more important things.

10:00 rolled around. Finally, visitation hours ended. I stiffly rose, and trundled to the door.
I passed Regina’s room on the way out. Her door was still open. She sat at her computer, staring at her screen saver and talking on the phone.
I descended down the stairs.

I sang “Man in the Movie” all the way home at the top of my lungs.

Song currently playing: Pagoda – Tidal Machines (playing in my head, because there’s no music in the computer labs)

Bonjourno!

I’m STILL SICK. Well, not really. I cough about every 2 or 3 hours. I’ll be cured by tomorrow. 😀 (Big Grin)

Tuesday afternoon I went out with Lox to Walmart to pick up some stuff… but I forgot to get thick stock paper. Moment is completely done; but I can’t print it out. D’oh!!!
I helped him fix and tune his guitar, and then broke my rule and played “Man in the Movie” for him. I think he liked it, especially since he said “wow, that’s not usually your style, that’s MY style.”
Silliness. No one’s been able to figure out my “style” in any matter.
Anyhow, it was good I played it, because I nailed down the bridge for it too. I need to practice a couple more times, and then show it to the rest of the band.

I watched “The Usual Suspects” Tuesday night in Regina & Lalrem’s room. That movie ROCKS. A bit too much swearing for my tastes, but definitely ranks among Fight Club, Memento, Sixth Sense & Matrix. An excellent action movie, but the ending will leave you so completely floored. Must watch twice.
I watched it with Eunice, Lalrem, Joseph, Magda, Richard and Boone. Interesting developments between Lalrem & Joseph. I noticed it before when they were working, but we’ll see what becomes of it. It was a bit weird for me, because I used to have a crush on Lalrem before I realized she had a boyfriend. Strange thing is, however, I think she still does, and unless I’m mistaken; he may be studying here too. This might get interesting.

And by the way, if you think I’m being blunt and daring about expressing things about my love, I am. I’ve decided I don’t really care who reads my journal; if it’s the way I really feel, I’m going to write it. If you want to find out what I’m really thinking, it will be here.
I figure if someone reads it and dislikes it, I will have saved myself some heartache, I suppose. Anyways, it’s my journal. Anyone who doesn’t want to know shouldn’t read it.

Wednesday my boss took us out to lunch again, we went to Chi-Chi’s. I’d never been there. I love that place! The food is really good, especially their fried cheese-seafood things! Wonderful!

Wednesday night’s practice was incredible. We wrote a new song called “Tidal Machines” that is just… well, I’ve still got it in my head. It’s a beautiful song, one that I could fall asleep curled into a ball to. It’s very sad, but uplifting at the same time. hmmmmmmm. Kinda like Feivel’s “Somewhere out there”, I suppose would be a good comparison. I love that song so much. I think Saxton and I bonded a lot more in that song than we have in any other before.
We had played “tie my tongue up in knots” earlier, and Saxton seemed rather sullen. I didn’t know what to do. It seemed everyone was having fun playing it except him. It’s driving me bananas. I don’t want to steal the show, I’m not comfortable doing that. I wish we could work something out where we all wouldn’t mind if ANY of us sang lead, like the Beatles did. We can all sing, but our different voices only work on certain songs. It’s actually pretty rare that we can all sing at the same time. Saxton does mellow and hard stuff rather well, Lox does folkish stuff rather well, and I do love songs. Spam, well… we’re all working on Spam. 😀 (Big Grin) He can sing, just doesn’t like to most times. We’ll see. Maybe sometime in the future we’ll figure it out.

Anyhow, today I’ve been stuck in Jordan fixing these blasted computers. I’m starved and I’m going to dinner.

Adios!

Song currently playing: DC Talk – What if I Stumble

Aloha!

Tuesday finds me sick, but recovering.
Sunday evening was great, I love spending time with Mr. Ho. We went to Indian Echo Caverns. It was his first time going, though everyone in his house had gone. He never got to go because he had to work. He had invited me over to his house a couple weeks before, and I had recommended we rectify that problem.
He readily agreed, as long as it was accompanied by a Vietnamese dinner at a restaurant later, his treat. Of course, I was up for that. 😀 (Big Grin)

The caverns were truly stunning, and Mr. Ho, who had never seen such a thing, was truly stunned. Unfortunately, none of the dozens of pictures I took came out. My camera sucks in the dark, and has a terrible processing speed. Ah well. We had fun. Afterward we went out to a Vietnamese restaurant in Harrisburg. I had Pho’ (pronounced Fa), which is a delicious minty stew with beef, lettuce, parsley, sprouts, and different parts of a cow stomach. If the last one makes your stomach churn, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. It’s delicious.
It was joined with the complimentary spring rolls and French Iced Coffee. Mr. Ho also introduced me to a Coconut drink too, which I will have to learn how to make.
We spoke of many things, of love, of war, marriage and separation. I pity him sometimes, he has had such sorrow in his later years… if only his children saw that.

Monday we had Pagoda practice, and I met Saxton’s old roomie Long. Very nice fellow, and one heck of a football arm. He had had surgery done which had cost him a limp in his legs, but he made up for that by nailing every shot he fired.
Practice went well, we ran through the set smoothly, and Lox and I went over the solos in My Heart Set with the Sun and Of Things to Come, which I had been having trouble with. I think I’ve pretty much got them down.
Unfortunately, the blasted computer I’m trying to build for the band is not reading ANY drives now, causing me more frustration in not getting the band soft-recording. I’m thinking about changing motherboards.
The band just… gelled last night. Dunno. There was something there. We were running a new system, Lox got himself a new amp. I think he needs to spend some more time alone with it to get the levels, he doesn’t have as much bass pumping out of it. It’s nice and loud, but screechy.
Saxton used Lox’s old amp to sing through, but that was really screechy too. My head felt like needles by the time we were done.
I like having Saxton’s old amp to sing through, though. I think it fits my voice pretty well.
Lox caught me with the Man in the Movie song, but I told him I didn’t want to show it until after recording. I need to spend more time with it on the keyboard anyway, I need to develop the cello part more.
He mentioned, however, that he thought bands stayed together longer if each player brought a song to they had wrote to the table, and THEN asked for input.
I agreed with that very much. We do that sometimes, but a lot of our songs start out with someone messing around and everyone else jumping on the bandwagon. That works very well in some cases, but heaven forbid if you have any pre-defined ideas about the song, because the other players will squash them flat. Also, sometimes the medley completely changes because we can’t hear each other. This completely wrecks harmony at times.
I’m not sure. It works sometimes, but at times I feel it leaves something out. Orchestration is an important part of songwriting to me; I don’t put in parts of a song for no reason.
Dunno. I plan on having the cello, piano and vocals down before I play The Man in the Movie for them, and then ask what they might think about backup vocals, drums, guitar & bass. I think some of us like it one way and some of us like it the other, so I think compromise is good.
Besides, we do write some good stuff off the cuff.

We’ll see after this weekend.

Song currently playing: The Moffats – Bang Bang Boom

I love that song. ^_^

I’m very very sick. I started getting it Friday night, and by Saturday it was full-blown. My coworker had it and passed it on to me. No fun. Hopefully it won’t last long, though, and I’ll be up and at ’em tomorrow for work & Pagoda practice.

Speaking of practice, WE RECORD IN A WEEK!!!!!
I’m excited. As much as I hate recording, I’m thinking it maybe a little more fun in an actual studio.
Practice went really well on Wednesday, we moved upstairs to the empty bedroom to avoid any further floods. I love the acoustics of this room, it makes everything vibe really good.
I’m not sure what’s going on with Saxton. I got weird vibes from the band that night. Saxton wrote a rap section to “Love Song for No One at All”. It seemed a little sarcastic to me at first, because I’m not sure if he was ridiculing my “style of music”.
Apparently, everyone in the band assumes my style of music is “happy sugar music”. Spam has mentioned it, and Saxton’s rap mentioned it, and Lox seems to have it in his head too. I don’t know where they get the idea from. I listen to every genre under the sun, and will play it on my keyboard too if I have the capability.
I suppose I can’t expect too much from them, they’ve really only just met me. Maybe one day they’ll discover more sides to me. In the mean time, I’ll do my best not to throw off ‘band unity’ with my eccentric musical tastes and philosophies.
I’m trying to work with every member, but having them assume stuff about me makes it difficult.
Ah well. *goes and listens to some Pavarotti*

On Friday my boss Berte took my and Christina out for lunch in her Mustang. (:iconrobotorion:) (Smile) I LOVE riding in convertibles!!! We went to a restaurant called the “Old Country Buffet”. Interesting place, I don’t eat American food much. Lot’s of weird stuff, like steamed cabbage, fried catfish and sauerkraut.
I didn’t like most of it, but they had some REALLY good macaroni and cheese and Boston Seafood Salad. Yummeh. 🙂 (Smile)

Friday night I went out for a BBQ at James Hubbards’ house, he’s the international students supervisor. That was a blast. We had burgers and hot dogs, played Croquet and then lounged around playing Taboo while the fireflies danced around us.

Afterwards, we all went out to see Bad Boys II, the second time for me. I kinda had to go seeing as how I was the Van driver, but I love movies anyways.
I really want to see Pirates of the Caribbean, though.
I almost fell asleep a couple times in the movie, the sickness was really taking hold by that time.
Eventually it ended, and we headed home. Once I got to my room, I just crashed into bed.

The beach trip was canceled on Saturday due to lack of people, but it was good for me, because I slept in and stayed in bed being so sick.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in Janice’s room, she sprained her ankle and has been pretty much confined to 3rd floor. I brought her my new laptop, so she might have something to do.
We watched Insomnia in Setti’s room, with Lalrem, Magda, Boone, Eunice and Joy. That was one freaky movie. Well thought out, and very very psychological. I liked it, but it was a little dark for my tastes.

And that brings me to today.
I’m going out with Mr. Ho, an elderly Vietnamese war veteran whom I used to work with in the dining hall dish room. Very good friend. We’re going to Indian Echo Caves and afterwards he’s taking me out for Pho’ and a Vietnamese restaurant. I love Pho’.

Adios, muchachos!