Getting Better, Forgiveness, and Enough Time

Questions from Melony Hill’s Writing for My Sanity Therapeutic Writing Workshop, held online.

Photo by Joe Cardamone

How has your life gotten better in 2020?

Despite everything that has happened, things have gotten better, in a lot of areas.

I am definitely more motivated in my own physical health more. Though I had some setbacks with just how tough time management has been to slog through, I am taking care of myself amazingly.

I am also way more confident in my own body. I thought it was a switch that I turned on 2 years ago, but instead it’s been more of a slow turning up of the dial. I keep learning new ways to appreciate and be thankful for the ways I have been made.

My relationship with my kids has deepened, where I’ve learned the different ways in which the both of them work, and built safe spaces both for them to open up to me more, and spaces to just be kids and have fun.

My art has expanded. I’ve gotten more commissions than I ever have before. And I also feel more appreciated in my art, in addition to being more confident in it as well.

I’m getting back into photography; which I have had on hiatus for almost 6 years. My friends are really encouraging me to get back into it, and in a few weeks, I’ll have built a new section on my website just dedicated to my photography.

Who do you need to forgive, and why won’t you?

There is one person I haven’t forgiven.

But there are plenty of people who I will no allow to hurt me. And most of those people are people that I forgave.

I think ultimately people are fallible and will let you down, whether on accident or on purpose. Holding on to those things doesn’t help me in any way, but I can learn from them.

What I have to be careful of is the tendency I have to hold on to old pain. I am getting better and better at releasing it and releasing myself.

Who I am working on is fully forgiving myself.

What would I do if I had enough time?

I’d practice my music more. I haven’t touched my piano in a while just because not only does it not make any money unlike my other talents, it also requires a little money because I need to either fix my amplifier or get a new one. It feels silly to invest in it, when I need money for so many other things.

What do I do now when I have time?

I invest in myself and my drawing. If I have a moment, I take my iPad, go down by the water, and I draw. It recharges me so much. It feels almost as good as swimming.

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