Author: benjancewicz

Mood: Meditative / Reflective .: Rainy :.
Listening to: .: N-Trace – Forever :.
Reading: .: Romans 12:11-12 :.
Watching: .: Kundun :.

Inquisition: What is the most important piece of writing for you?

Aloha!

Went over and worked for a bit in the school this morning. Their computers are a mess. I spent the whole morning working through them and trying to get some of them to work. One of them had an ancient tape drive in it which I confiscated. Maybe I can use it to back up and prevent my computer from loosing everything again.

I got curtains today, and a kitchen table. The curtains are long and dull green (similar to the DA site, actually), slightly transparent, and tied together with twine. The table is small, but not too small for two people. It is actually a pretty good size, because you can still put a lot of food with two people without feeling crowded.

Inya spoke to me today. I popped online and she beeped me. She was nonchalant, as always, asking me how I was, providing short and somewhat sarcastic answers to my questions. She asked me some vaguely pointed questions about Tamika, which I responded with … short and nonchalant answers. I shouldn’t act bitter. :s

Jessamine invited me out to dinner tonight. I was apprehensive about going, so I rode the Wiiskichaan over. It was pouring rain, as it had been all day. She had told me both her roommate would be there on Saturday, but then called me later today and told me they weren’t. She had forgotten that they had to work. Jessamine puts me ill at ease for some reason, I can’t always put my finger on it. She used to go out with Nick Machlan, which I can’t see how they ever were together. She’s very… critical. I’m not sure if that’s the right word to use… it sounds too harsh, but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m rather wild at times, and felt like I was getting snubbed at times. With me being so sensitive is hard for me to deal with. We actually had a pretty good talk, though. She made spaghetti and spinach. I never had spinach before, it’s pretty good.
I left because I had to get back before dark with the motorcycle.

Tamika was nervous being at the house alone (neither of her roommates we there) (the other one’s name is Kristen) and so she came over here. I’m going to help her paint her room tonight.

I got a beautiful letter from Corrine Lerou tonight. She really is a special girl. Though some people feel deeply, she is one of the few that can express it well.

Mood: Meditative / Reflective .: Salted :.
Listening to: .: Heart – Alone :.
Reading: .: Becoming Evil :.
Watching: .: Kundun :.

Inquisition: What is the most powerful movie you have ever seen?

Aloha

“Alone” by Heart is a strangely powerful and haunting song.

I went over to Vinny, Tamika & (insert forgotten roommate’s name here)’s new house. They needed someone to stay for when the cable guy came. Actually, that is where I wrote “The Waffle House”. After I was done, I took a nap on the couch. Vinny came home, and plopped herself down on the couch. She’s always been very nice to me, but I directed the conversation gently towards Tamika. She admitted jealousy. She and Tamika were best friends, and since I had grown closer to Tamika, things had deteriorated. I had detected the cracks before Tamika or Vinny even knew about it and had done my best to make sure Tamika had time away from me when she could hang out with Vinny. However, Tamika was not the type to be easily directed without detection, and often wound up with me.

This coinciding with Vinny’s move, Tamika’s car trouble, decorating the house, working out a mortgage, and numerous other complications got them both extremely stressed out, causing them to be short with one another.
With the comfort of the Mona Lisa Smile soundtrack murmuring in the background, we talked. She thanked me for all the help I had given them, especially to Tamika in calming her down and helping her set up. I talked with Vinny and consoled her that I had no intention of taking Tamika away, and wanted them to remain strong friends at all costs.

We gradually moved on to lighter subjects, but I felt a strong connection had been made. She made us some of her “Gourmet Macaroni & Cheese”, a delicious blend of melted cheese, elbow macaroni, diced tomatoes, and a misture of spices. It was then we realized that the coaxial cable on the table had not been left by anyone of the house. Apparently the cable man had already come by and installed it, letting himself in through some unknown method.

We laughed, and parted.

This evening I watched Kundun with Mya over at the Catholic Worker. It’s a very good movie, sad though it may be.

Mood: Invisible / Ignored .: Salted :.
Listening to: .: Mona Lisa Smile Soundtrack :.
Reading: .: Becoming Evil :.
Watching: .: Equilibrium :.

Inquisition: What is the one thing you eat the most of?

Aloha

We sat across from each in the booth closest to the door, each of us staring into space. I leaned back against the window, one leg resting gauntly across the bench, the other with my foot on the floor. I sipped at my Sprite in it’s dripping cup, drumming gently on the back of the booth with my other hand. She picked at the remains of her omelet and warmed her hand on the oddly shaped mug of coffee, studying her reflection in the inky black window. The remains of unwanted tomato and onion lay on a tiny plate from the triple-decker cheeseburger I had eaten, along with too many condiments for a Waffle House to have. An Asian couple sat at the bar talking quietly to themselves, and the grill sizzled above the absurd arguments of the staff, who were fighting about whether voting for Kerry was non patriotic and whether flying American flags on cars was pro-Bush.

When the server asked us no less than 6 times whether we wanted refills, despite getting refused each and every time, we decided it was time to leave. She stretched painfully. Despite the back rub I had given her back at the room, she was still tense, and the pain was enough to make her not want to move.

We drove back to my place, and I grabbed the sneakers we had picked up at Gabe’s. It was weird. Everything automatic within me told me I was to kiss her. A small, encouraging peck on the cheek, just to cheer her up from the miserable day she had. Instinctively my head jerked back, though she didn’t notice. I told her I’d be praying for her and hoped she would be ok. She smiled faintly and said thanks.
I got out and jogged across the street, dodging cars. She stayed there. I waved.
She sat there until I went inside, then drove off.
It was strange.
She’d kissed me on the cheek over half a dozen times, though I’d yet to return the favour.

As I locked the door behind me, I thought of the conversation Alvin and I had a couple nights earlier online. Alvin is Indonesian, and a very good friend and former schoolmate of Caroline’s.
“What are you waiting for?” he asked, “You gonna wait forever?”
“It’s not right yet.” I smiled sadly, “I’m over it, yes. But it’s still so hard to trust anyone yet.”

It’s not right yet.

Mood: Industrious .: Extraneous :.
Listening to: .: Andy Hui + Kelly Chen – Åê·r§ð²¤ Rave Medley :.
Reading: .: Becoming Evil :.
Watching: .: Equilibrium :.

Inquisition: Do you like love songs?

Aloha!

I helped out Tamika yesterday. We moved out everything from her old Messiah apartment in Harrisburg. Or rather, she packed, I moved. She was in a very tense and sarcastic mood. We loaded up her car and drove it over there, then unpacked and worked on her closet a bit. Vinny and … danggit, for the life of me I can’t remember her other house mate’s name … came back as we were eating dinner. Vinny had left us some taco salad which we heated up. Vinny and Tamika still weren’t doing very well, and the tense atmosphere was thick enough to stifle. Her other house mate of course was oblivious to the whole thing, and carried on with me about material for curtains she had bought. Vinny went to bed early while we were working in Tamika’s room, but then later got up again.

I was preoccupied with pondering deeply about where exactly this relationship was going, which didn’t help matters especially much. Tamika didn’t have much of a place to stay, since her room was piles and piles of stuff, so she slept on my futon. We talked for a bit about how she was doing, and she admitted contemplating doing some things to me that rather frightened me. The talk was deep, but very troubling. It wasn’t anything that changed our friendship in any negative sense… but it was interesting that I had drawn the conclusion that this was the wrong time for me to progress anything a relationship only hours before. I hope these two evens don’t collide, coincidental though they are.

I caught myself musing on what the personality of my perfect mate would be again. In being able to read people, I create a rather vivid personality picture in my mind of how someone would be for us to perfectly mesh.

She awoke early and left for work, and I got up and went over to Nativity. Despite what they said, only Tevin was at the school, and they really didn’t have anything for me to do at all. I contented myself with setting up my desk in my classroom a bit.

I’ve done loads of pictures today, but the internet is being slow, so I can’t upload any.

Mood: Loved .: Sandy :.
Listening to: .: Lauryn Hill – Every Ghetto, Every City :.
Reading: .: Becoming Evil :.
Watching: .: Equilibrium :.

Inquisition: How do you know when you’re in love?

Aloha!

I’m back in PA, made it safely in spite of saddle bags catching fire, drive chains falling off, getting lost in NYC, thunderstorms, cold, electrical systems failing, and butt-numbing 13 hour rides.

It was good trip, I’m glad I did it, though. Lone cowboy out on his motorcycle. 🙂
Gas was hideously expensive, though. I paid 2.80 per gallon at one point. Sick. I’m glad I was on a motorcycle and not in a suburban.

My street flooded last week. We got about 4 feet of water in the street. Cars were floating down the street in a torrent of brown water. It wrecked the Catholic Worker’s garden. My motorcycle didn’t go anywhere, but I was lucky. The basement window blew in and I got 3 feet of water in the basement.
It’s frustrating living here sometimes, because it’s impossible to get anything done without the landlady’s consent. And she doesn’t let us do anything, even repairs.

Have been spending even more time with Tamika. My mind is fuzzy.

She spent the night here again. I have a futon (which she gave me), so I let her stay on that if it gets too late.
She didn’t go to church with me, though, because she had to work. She didn’t want to go to Wesley Union AME because of the whole fiasco that might develop with seeing Jeff there again. He called her the night before (she didn’t pick up, he didn’t leave a message), but that was enough to convince her that 1) he might not have meant what he said about “getting the message if she didn’t call him” and 2) she wasn’t ready to go to that church again. I did a little Yellow Pages research and found another AME church up 17th Street. They started at 11, though, and she had to work at 12.

AME Harris was pretty nice. Their band was inCREDIBLE. They could make it as a secular R&B band if they wanted to. Oh, it was so good. The singing was mediocre, but it was all kids. There wasn’t really a … sermon… this young girl got up and read something she wrote, which was good, but I was surprised. Maybe it was children’s week or something. A whole bunch of their windows were busted in from the storm, so I gave them my tithe. I’m slowly working up 10% of all the money I received from graduation.

I have to pay a citation tomorrow. I got caught running a red light. The cop was lenient on me, though, since motorcycles don’t trigger the sensor. He told me to do when no one was around. 😉

Nice to be back on DA regularly, I’m going to try journaling regularly too.

Mood: Grateful .: Sandy :.
Listening to: .: Wise Guys – Start the Commotion :.
Reading: .: Malcolm X on African American History :.
Watching: .: Bourne Supremacy :.

Inquisition: Do you consider yourself a deep person?

Aloha!

I am Connecticut. I drove out here on my motorcycle.
It was quite an eventful trip. I ran out of gas twice, but I brought an extra tank so I was ok. My saddlebag dropped and hit the top of my exhaust and caught on fire, but I didn’t loose anything valuable. I lost the printout of my directions, but I had my atlas with me. It began to rain, but I brought gloves and a rain coat. So… it wasn’t exactly fun, but I was taken care of.

My sister; ~ElizabethJancewicz, her boyfriend Barrett (two t’s or one?) and Amy Feenstra; ~ymie went to Ocean Beach today, and spent most of the day there. It was nice, and the water wasn’t too cold. I swam up and down the the whole beach and built sand castles with Amy. We walked up and down the beach talking and looking for sand castles to take over. She’s gotten a lot bigger. The Feenstras are missionaries in the Northwest Territories, so every two years we see them at a conference in North Carolina. This year my sister and Amy decided to stay at the house and chill.

Tomorrow I’m going up to Montreal to visit Vanessa and Coco and the rest of the Bethel Bible team that I met on my trip home. I hope that trip’s easier than this one and they don’t give me too much trouble at the border. We’ll see.

Bleah. I should write journals on more of a regular basis. That would help with my mind being numb and being unable to think of what happened this last week. Hmmm. Sold some stuff on eBay, spent a lot of time with Tamika, went to see Bourne Supremacy (surprisingly good sequel).

Oh! The day before I left (counts) ,,, uh, Tuesday, Tamika, Vinny (her roommate at best friend) and … darn it, can’t remember her name… ANYways, her 2nd roommate to-be, and I all went to Home Depot and went shopping for paints and decorating. I like being an interior designer. I need to study up on it some more. As soon as I’m done with the journal I’m going to look some Interior Design curriculum’s and order the books. I’m going to deck out Tamika’s room. I’ll take pics and post them when I get done.

I finally got my computer running again, and soon as I find the digital copy of my signature I’ll be putting up more work.

Peace, love, and sandy beaches,

Mood: Enthusiastic .: Sandy :.
Listening to: .: Carl Thomas – Emotional :.
Reading: .: The Count of Monte Cristo :.
Watching: .: Some like it Hot :.

Inquisition: Do you think more about others, or about yourself?

Aloha!

And so, here I sit, in Holy Spirit hospital.
Though for the first time in a while, not on my own account.
Tim Laux, my guitarist, coworker and roommate, caught some poison ivy down by the Susquehanna riverbanks a couple weeks back, and today it spread all over his body. I rushed him to the emergency room.

I discovered I didn’t mind. Honestly, I didn’t mind. I’ve noticed within me a begrudging attitude, since the past year. I think it started when Caroline and I broke up. It change a lot, and shook the very foundations of how I looked at life.
I regained the foundations, but I guess I never double checked to make sure they were sound. I noticed I wanted to… help less. I don’t know.

When I was young, I was selfish. I had a short fuse, and a quick mouth. But as I got older, I slowly began changing, realizing how rotten I was and what I could do to change.

I guess after the breakup, I just… stopped caring. Well, I didn’t stop caring. Because my conscience would protest, and moan for me to help selflessly. I used to, and I think I’m starting to again.
I think what messed up the foundation was that although I would do nice and benevolent things, I would only do them for girls. Consciously, I didn’t think anything of it, and didn’t do it for any ulterior purpose. But when I thought about it, I found the excuse that I had already helped out enough didn’t really cover as a reason why I wouldn’t volunteer with no personal gain for myself.
I used to.
I used to care about others to a fault. I used go so far out of my way that I would get hurt helping other just so they wouldn’t be bothered with some frivolous item.
It might have been silly in some ways, but it made me happy to help. That’s just the way I am.
But lately…
Anything that offered discomfort to me, or didn’t give any profit, or required strenuous effort, I shied away from. Even to the point I sometimes lied about it.
I don’t want to live this way. I can do better than that.
So; here I am. At the hospital.
It would seem small to some, it would seem second nature to some.
But I’m glad I’m here.

This weekend was crazy.
Friday Tamika’s cousin Vicky came by for a visit and we all went out to Denny’s for breakfast. I had met Vicky at Tamika’s graduation party. She’s very… frank about everything, and says anything and everything that comes into her head. Her stories are very interesting (though at times derogatory). She’s the kind of person you want to bring around to get an immediate reaction.
As soon as she saw me coming down the stairs when they came to pick me up, she turned to Tamika and said something along the lines of “Who’s that hunk??” She didn’t recognize me with my new haircut.
Needless to say, I was flattered. She did that kind of thing for the whole breakfast, until Tamika had to swat her off and tell her to keep quite and stop embarrassing people. I get compliments like that so rarely, that I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it!

Saturday Tamika and I went to the beach. There was a bit of rain when we left, so rather than taking my motorcycle, week took her Golf. And it was a good thing we did to.
We drove down to Rehoboth beach, but when we got there, the campsite had no vacancy. We decided to sleep on the beach instead. I wasn’t completely sure we were allowed to, but we set up my tents and found a good spot. There were fishermen out there with their rods, so I figured it would be ok. I gave her my tent because the one I was going to let her use I couldn’t find the top for.
I strapped my umbrella to the top of my tent.
It started out beautifully. The sound of the shore and the cool breeze through the tents made it heavenly, and softness of the sand lulled us to sleep.
The storm came at about 3 AM or so, and almost blew my umbrella away. I snatched it and tied it on more securely. The rain began coming down in torrents, but Tamika continued sleeping. I saw the wind was beginning to lift up the corners of her tents, so I shuffled my tent over and blocked the wind with my own. I put our bags and the extremities of the tents to keep them down.
At 8 AM, however, all hell broke loose. The wind blew my umbrella 1000 feet down the beach and though I tore off after it across the beach, the wind was too quick for me and a fisherman rescued it. At that point out tents were collapsing and threatening to lift off and blow away like miniature parachutes. I quickly disassembled them and lay them flat with all our stuff still inside to anchor. Tamika began freezing up, so I got most of our stuff bundled up and ran to the car and started it with the heat on. Everything was sopping wet. The rain was harsh and cold, like needles coming sideways at us. Our sleeping bags and pillows and tents were so soaked with water it was really hard for me to lift them all, and on top of that sand was stuck to everything. I threw everything in the back seats of the Golf and we sat shivering with the heat on full blast.
We found a set of public showers and went and got changed and warmed up.
All the diners we searched for were completely full of people, with on average 30 people waiting outside to get in.
We finally found a less crowded IHOP in Dover, and she dropped me off to get in line. Her cell phone had gotten soaked, but I had baked it on the top of the car’s vents and got it semi working again. She went to Target to get a car charger, and she came back just in time for us to go in.
The meal was delicious, and we were so full and so tired afterwards we retired to the car and slept for several hours.
Tamika’s parents and grandparents and her Aunt Faye were coming down to Ocean City to visit Tamika’s great cousin for her 82nd birthday, so we decided to join them and drove down there.
Her great cousin is really cool, and always laughing. When Tamika’s grandparents arrived, we found misfortune had followed them as well. The radiator hose had popped off underneath the Jaguar, and so Mr. Pinkney Sr. had to crawl under the car in the pouring rain and try to get it back on.
He had to borrow his cousin’s clothes for something dry to wear, and all the ladies couldn’t suppress their snickering. In his defense, I went with him and Mr. Pinkney to go get the food.
We had a really nice time, and then headed back to Harrisburg. Tamika’s Mom (who insists I call her Mom too) stole our tents, saying she would hose them down and give them back to me later.
I apologized profusely to Tamika for such a miserable weekend, but she graciously told me to shut up, and that she had enjoyed herself anyways.

The next morning I got up at 6, and rode the motorcycle back down to Maryland to join my band mates with recording at Echoes Studios. The sessions went pretty well, and I got the keyboard parts down without too much trouble, despite the USB acting up so much. We also got most of the vocals laid down, and they sound pretty good.

I’ve got to get going now,
Ciao,

Mood: Gloomy .: Sensitive :.
Listening to: .: Cool Jazz 92.7 :.
Reading: .: The Count of Monte Cristo :.
Watching: .: some Sandra Bullock/Hugh Grant movie :.

Inquisition: Do you have a best friend?

Aloha!

I’m starting to realize maybe I’m just not friendly.
Maybe amiable might be a better term; but somewhere, somehow, in between my parents advice on choosing friends wisely and my own ambition to be a noble young man of good morals, kind heart, and sound mind… somehow missed out on all the TV shows, movies, popular songs and basic social skill that are necessary for a lasting relationship.

Constantly I fulfill the role of psychiatrist confidant, with my kind, grandfatherly advice; and simply fail at any attempts to be funny or fit in in any way involving any sort of camaraderie. And that’s what I am to most people. The one they tell their problems to. And with good reason, I suppose; I listen very well and give very good advice. Maybe it’s my love for listening and truly figuring someone out. Maybe it’s my sixth or seventh sense which enables me to monitor what people are thinking.

But whatever it is, it seems to make it bloody impossible for someone to like me for who I am without feeling somehow indebted to me for the “service” I’ve served them or simple kindness I’ve showed them that they can’t get anywhere else.

Perhaps I’m being selfish. Perhaps that kind of attention really doesn’t exist.
But Sacré Bleu, I’m refuting my own argument, because I dish OUT that kind of attention on a daily basis.
And Sacre Bleu, I’m also tearing away at my own gentlemanship by thinking so much about myself at this point.
And not only that, but if I were ever to confide in anyone who actually had anything but electronic contact with me at all, the dizzying logic of it all is enough to scare them away for good! And if they don’t, then usually they themselves are some sort of psychoanalyst themselves, who then work pity strains on me.

After studying so much counseling and psychology on my own, I’m beginning to realize that as a child, either through abuse and humiliation or through self-inflicted psychological reprogramming, I have fundamentally messed myself up in a lot of ways.

I know it’s not the first time, (or at least I suppose) that someone has experienced such an alienation from the public through their own desire to be good and friendly, but all the examples I can think of are in fiction. Movies like “It’s a wonderful life”, “Harvey”, “Forrest Gump” and “Finding Forrester”.
Sadly, these movies end in bittersweet tragedy.
Cheers me right up.

Sometimes I wish I had a mask like Jim Carrey. In reality, they only way he got the girl at the end was because he met her through the mask.
THAT’S the way it’s SUPPOSED to work.
People are supposed to think your cool and attractive FIRST, and THEN find out your deep, and passionate and gentle. Not the other way around.
At least, that’s every girls’ dream.
I’m just not attractive.
Or cool.

And YES, I know I’m digressing. Significant Otherses and Friends aren’t nearly the same thing.
But dagnabbit, they’re related. They think the same way when it comes to the level of first impressions.

***

I hung out with Tamika today. We went to her lacrosse game in Duncannon, and I rode with her there and then drove her back. After that, we went with her friend Vinny to Wal-Mart just really for the heck of it.
I’ve never seen two friends mesh together so well.
I’ve never had anything like that. Not even close. Not a single friend I could just tell anything to.

I don’t know.
As my mom would say, I’m having another pity party for myself.
And it’s true. I can change things I don’t like about myself if I really want to.

Bah.

Not only that, but I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow. I always do. And if I don’t tell anyone about it and just let it out, I’ll be able to figure out different solutions and be able to figure out what I can do to change and make myself more sociable.

Sleep.

Goodnight.

Mood: Inquisitive .: Sensitive :.
Listening to: .: Cool Jazz 92.7 :.
Reading: .: The Count of Monte Cristo :.
Watching: .: Fahrenheit 9/11 :.

Question: What is the hardest thing for you about “mingling”?

Aloha!

It didn’t rain as much as I hoped, but it did rain.
I rode my bike to Messiah.
Oh wait, I forgot to say.
I don’t look like myself anymore. I got a very short haircut, and a clean cut shave. No one recognizes me at all. Tamika went with me to the hairdressers and I got it all cut off. It looks good and feels great. Anyways. Back to your irregularly scheduled journal already in progress.
So I got there just before the rain hit and no one in the house recognized me until I told them who I was. It was kinda cool.

I found out the headlights that are on the motorcycle draw too much power and drain the battery while I drive; making it extra hard to start, so I did a quick fix and disabled them. I have to buy a fuse, because I already burnt one out putting the lights in. I think I might just leave one in, I don’t think it will draw too much power.

We had band practice today. Jessamine was there, and she was really mean. I was trying to figure out a part for one of the songs we were writing and she was like “I really don’t like the keyboard parts for that song. They really suck.”
I didn’t know whether to smack her or cry. It was the 3rd time I’d heard the song in completion and was desperately trying to figure out something that would compliment the other band mates parts.
I did neither and bit my lip.
Pagoda broke up with the loss of Saxton (the lead singer) and Bondorew (the rhythm guitarist), and now the band is called the Tea Harvesters. We get a lot more work done, but I am constantly on edge. I have more fun in this band, but I seem to have much less of a voice. Like always, Mike is outstandingly critical of my work, but now no one really contests him. He’ll sometimes run me into the ground because he thinks something sucks, even though I know it’s merely is ostentatious and bizarre taste in music. It hurts sometimes, though.
I’m too bloody sensitive sometimes.

Anjana (sp?) invited me, Lox and Mike over for a dance party at the Catholic Worker House and Joshua House backyard. She and Mya are leaving at the end of this week, so it was rather a going away party. I was glad she invited me. Like always, I found it hard to get into their group. They were all drinking, and I just sat along the sidelines, trying to battle the numerous memories of all the previous and ill-fated drinking parties I’d been to.
Eventually they all got silly, and when Anjana invited me up to dance, I joined the group.
I still felt out of place… I guess it’s just rare that there is a group of people I feel comfortable with.
That’s kinda sad. 🙁
I wish I could feel more at ease.

My computer is still eating itself alive, and I’m still battling it. I hope I can make some progress.

Mood: Inquisitive .: Nonchalant :.
Listening to: .: Cool Jazz on the Radio :.
Reading: .: The Count of Monte Cristo :.
Watching: .: Johnny English :.

Aloha!

Been a bit. Let me explain.
There is no time. Let me sum up.

Went to Tamika’s house 4 or 5 times, she had trouble with the mechanic and getting her car to work. So I went back and forth with her since I had nothing else to do.
We’ve been getting along great until the last day; when she finally got her car back… we had to get up early and it was raining, and there was lots of traffic and I had to drive stick. I was a little short, and I shouldn’t have been.
We moved the futon she gave me a little while ago, and I rearranged my room to make it fit. I have a really nice room. I raised my box spring up on milk crates and put books in them.

My computer is dying. I’m working off of my laptop at the moment. The hard drive is going corrupt, and I may be loosing all of my artwork and all of my music. Needless to say, this has me really ticked. I am trying desperately to save it, but it is slowing down the computer as well. I’m trying to copy something on a CD, and it says it’s going to take 11 hours. For one 5MB file. *sigh*

I found out that the school is supposed to be paying for ALL our food, not just dry goods. They gave us 60$ to go buy groceries. I was floored. We’re going to eat like kings. I went out on the Wiiskichaan and bought some groceries from Alde’s. I worked on it a bit yesterday; and discovered the busted up emergency lights (like the ones you see in schools, that turn on when the power goes out) make excellent headlamps on my motorcycle. They’re really bright and work really nice. If they stay working, I’m going to paint them black like I’ve done with the rest of the bike. The garage is nice, though the roof leaks a bit, I’m glad to have something to put the bike in.

I’m planning on going to the beach this weekend in Delaware with Tamika, we’re going to drive down there and sleep on the sand. I hope it stays nice.
We’re supposed to get 13 or 14 inches of rain today! We’ll see how that goes.

I got up for the first time in a while at 8:30. I feel so unproductive, even though I’ve been busy selling stuff online, studying, and reading. Ah well.
I suppose I could do more. I don’t like being so alone.

I plan on taking a long trip at the end of this month after the band records in Maryland.
I’ll be going maybe to Philly, then to Connecticut, then to Montreal. It’s gonna be fun.