A great friend of mind, Iya Isoke, wrote a post on Facebook examining this quote:
“The Prince” by Nicolò Machiavelli
Written c. 1505, published 1515For my part I consider that it is better to be adventurous than cautious, because fortune is a woman, and if you wish to keep her under it is necessary to beat and ill-use her; and it is seen that she allows herself to be mastered by the adventurous rather than by those who go to work more coldly. She is, therefore, always, woman-like, a lover of young men, because they are less cautious, more violent,and with more audacity command her.
She then asked for reactions, and posed the following questions:
LADIES: When you look at a man’s attributes, the men in your life who you can not, absolutely can not, leave alone or leave, is he a man who has the ability to check you? Does he have that thing that tells you to pump the brakes when you know you’re coming out the box? And do you love him for it or because of it or both? Are you “mastered” by the stronger man who has the audacity to command you?
MEN: Do you have the audacity to command her? Do you know the difference between demand and command? Or do you allow a woman to “live her life” the way she wants…in yours? What does it take to be a successful handler?
Facebook rejected my post (too long), so I finished writing it here.
First of all; one must come before the other, (adventures & women) and both must continue, but I’ll get into that.
Secondly; as there IS a difference between commanding and demanding, but the difference lies in the man, not the method. You can teach a fool a method, and it will work for a short time, but eventually the fraud will be put out. Truly learning how to command comes with a price, and that price is wisdom. That is difference between Master and Amateur.
One cannot command something without being the Master of it.
Now, I know Massa has got some other connotations, but hear me out. The master I’m speaking of has to do with eminent skill and knowledge of a subject, not the act of beating someone into submission (which is what Mr. Machiavelli is referring to).
A Master someone so good at what they do that everyone around them can’t help but bow in respect.
So, an Amateur demands, a Master commands.
In addition, the only way to become a true Master at something is be be humbled enough to learn. A man who knows they do not know everything is a man who has wisdom without bounds. So while a Master knows his stuff; he also recognizes that he is constantly learning, and works hard to stay on top of his game.
And women, take note. A man who claims to know everything about women has put a limit on his ability to learn and must be taught a lesson. Put him out on his head!
A man who appreciates the mystery of women is wise, and does everything he can to gain skill and knowledge on the subject. And frankly, men are not naturally able to have that kind of patience until they’ve been through some stuff.
Which leads em back to my first point.
Adventure before women.
Adventure, fortunately, is what young men lust after. This act of throwing ones self to the wind give them much needed experiences. With experience comes pain, but those who come out as men on the other side are those who are able to rise up out of the hardship and succeed. After this period of difficulty, the tenacity they learned in their adventures will help them with the rest of their lives. This tenacity is a necessary quality of being a Master.
Another thing that is learned is the ability to decide when to check things and put them to a halt. That ability during an adventure means the difference between success and failure. Let something be, and it festers into a monstrosity. Cut it too early, and you sell yourself short on gain.
These things can only be learned from experience; from trial an error. And therefore should be confined to adventures, and not women.
And this is where Nicòlo gets it right (hear me out).
In this particular passage, Machiavelli is talking to meek men. Men too scared to have that original adventure, who lack the courage to step out and be reckoned with. He’s essentially bribing them here, letting them know that they will never gain wealth or fortune if they don’t show some gumption.
I would caution any man who subscribes to heavily to this author, however… Machiavelli is man who gave rise to Machiavellianism (using this very work, “The Prince”) which adheres to the the idea of brute force to preserve the status quo. That philosophy is the one and the same that helped American colonists justify slavery, as well as the rise of dictatorships at later dates in other countries.
But I digress.
I would argue that a man also needs to perpetuate his adventures. In essence, he must never stop challenging himself in new ways, and keep his mind sharp. This will enable him to always become a greater and greater master, and if done correctly, gain more respect. A woman in this mans life would be wise to encourage such adventures, as well as the exploration of their relationship.
The lack of growth in both areas leads the one thing many are far too familiar with: the mid-life crisis. The leads to acting out, to divorce, to loss of fortune… to loss of Mastery.
So there we are, open discussion!
