Mood: Inquisitive .: Sensitive :.
Listening to: .: Cool Jazz 92.7 :.
Reading: .: The Count of Monte Cristo :.
Watching: .: Fahrenheit 9/11 :.
Question: What is the hardest thing for you about “mingling”?
Aloha!
It didn’t rain as much as I hoped, but it did rain.
I rode my bike to Messiah.
Oh wait, I forgot to say.
I don’t look like myself anymore. I got a very short haircut, and a clean cut shave. No one recognizes me at all. Tamika went with me to the hairdressers and I got it all cut off. It looks good and feels great. Anyways. Back to your irregularly scheduled journal already in progress.
So I got there just before the rain hit and no one in the house recognized me until I told them who I was. It was kinda cool.
I found out the headlights that are on the motorcycle draw too much power and drain the battery while I drive; making it extra hard to start, so I did a quick fix and disabled them. I have to buy a fuse, because I already burnt one out putting the lights in. I think I might just leave one in, I don’t think it will draw too much power.
We had band practice today. Jessamine was there, and she was really mean. I was trying to figure out a part for one of the songs we were writing and she was like “I really don’t like the keyboard parts for that song. They really suck.”
I didn’t know whether to smack her or cry. It was the 3rd time I’d heard the song in completion and was desperately trying to figure out something that would compliment the other band mates parts.
I did neither and bit my lip.
Pagoda broke up with the loss of Saxton (the lead singer) and Bondorew (the rhythm guitarist), and now the band is called the Tea Harvesters. We get a lot more work done, but I am constantly on edge. I have more fun in this band, but I seem to have much less of a voice. Like always, Mike is outstandingly critical of my work, but now no one really contests him. He’ll sometimes run me into the ground because he thinks something sucks, even though I know it’s merely is ostentatious and bizarre taste in music. It hurts sometimes, though.
I’m too bloody sensitive sometimes.
Anjana (sp?) invited me, Lox and Mike over for a dance party at the Catholic Worker House and Joshua House backyard. She and Mya are leaving at the end of this week, so it was rather a going away party. I was glad she invited me. Like always, I found it hard to get into their group. They were all drinking, and I just sat along the sidelines, trying to battle the numerous memories of all the previous and ill-fated drinking parties I’d been to.
Eventually they all got silly, and when Anjana invited me up to dance, I joined the group.
I still felt out of place… I guess it’s just rare that there is a group of people I feel comfortable with.
That’s kinda sad. 🙁
I wish I could feel more at ease.
My computer is still eating itself alive, and I’m still battling it. I hope I can make some progress.