Thundersnow

I left the office in Alexandria at 4:45.
I arrived home in Baltimore at 8:45.

The snow was coming down in pounds. Thick and heavy, like Italian ice. The sky ripped with booms and flashes of light, the sky was so turmoiled, it had turned to a thundersnowstorm.
The roads were a mess.

The first person I helped was a young guy in an Acura with rims. We were still in Alexandria, and he was not moving at all. He kept flooring it, which caused him to sit there and spin. I taught him how to ease into the traction, and pushed him out of the rut.

The next was on the Baltimore-Washington Parkway. An Iranian woman was pulled off to the side, and couldn’t get back onto the (semi) plowed part of the road. I helped her ease back onto the road, and gave her directions back to Alexandria (she was going the wrong way).

The next guy was a soldier, spun off to the side of the road in a Mazda coupe. He had stopped on the shoulder because he blew his wiper motor, then spun into the ditch when he went to get started again. I pulled him out part of the way with the Subaru, and then a Mexican truck driver yanked him out the rest of the way. Nobody stopped save for a highway worker in a yellow SUV, who merely slowed enough to yell at us for getting stuck. I drove down into the gully to push him up, then crawled back out again to pull him up. My Subaru is amazing. The soldier was incredulous that we had stopped to help him. He passed me several times as I stopped for other people later on, staring out wide-eyed that I had stopped again.

The highway was packed with UPS trucks for some reason. It was very hard to pass them, because the sent up thick sheets of slush from their front wheels. It was like driving through a carwash.

Next was a lady in a pickup truck. Well, outside of a pickup truck. She had been standing in the snow for over an hour, and was covered heard to toe in snow. She had stopped to clear snow off her windshield, and had gotten locked out. She had borrowed the truck, and hadn’t realized it locked when she got out. And so she stood outside, with no phone, freezing, snow caking her dreadlocks. She had borrowed another earlier Samaritan’s phone to call for roadside assistance, but they said the wait was 3 hours.
As I pulled up, a pair of cops pulled up, and yelled at us through their speakers to get off the road. When I told them she was stuck and locked out, they stood there with folded arms and suggested we break the windows. The woman and I found a paving stone while the cops stood there blankly. I asked her if she was sure… “HECK YES, I’m sure!” She yelled, “This ain’t MY truck! I need to get out of here!” I smashed her passenger window and popped the locks on the driver side. She asked my name, glared at the cops, and thanked me.

The next was a guy in a Honda CRV. He cut somebody off, then realizing his mistake, overcompensated. He swerved across 4 lanes, then turned too sharply again, swerved across 4 lanes again, narrowly missing 3 cars, and spun 180º, ending up the wrong way in the fast lane. I put on my blinkers and flashed my brakes, and moved gently over and blocked the traffic for him. All the cars stopped behind me. The guy panicked again, hit the gas, and spun around wildly, narrowly missed a tanker truck that stopped for him, and then straightened himself and drove on. I passed him, and he nervously waved. I waved back.

The next was a Nigerian girl in a tiny Geo with bald tires. Every time she drove forward, she spun in circles, and was petrified. Not only that, but when she tried driving slow (she could only do about 5-10mph) SUVs would come up behind her and flash their highbeams at her, scaring her even more. I gently taught her how to ease on the gas, then put on my blinkers and drove behind her to clear the way to her exit. She smiled and gave me the thumbs up.

The next was an extremely well dressed woman in a white Mercedes. She was stuck, but was too scared to open her window for me to talk to her. Unwilling to accept help, I had to leave her.

The next was a woman in a gigantic Chrysler 300c luxury car with rims. Gospel music blared from her car, and she was stuck on a slope at a 90 degree angle blocking the 695 exit. She kept stepping on the gas really hard, and nearly slid into a guardrail. It took me and 3 other men to push her out. Finally on her way, she swore to buy better tires and thanked us for stopping.

The next was the Ethiopian man who works at the gas station near my house. His car was stuck on the corner near a drain. His tires were so bald he just spun. I got in his car and rocked it until it was out of traffic, and in a semi parking spot. A white guy stood on the steps of the gas station across the street and did nothing.

The lightning from the storm took out electricity for blocks and blocks, and set a house on fire up the street. 8 firetrucks outfitted with snow chains were on the scene when I got there.

The last was a minivan trying to get up my street. A girl was driving; and me and two guys helped maneuver the van into a rut to drive through up the street. It took us about a half an hour to get it going, but we finally got her on her way.

What a night!

Related articles

• Thunder, Lighting and… Snow (scientificamerican.com)
• Thundersnow Hits The East Coast; Other Things Thundersnow Might Be? (manolith.com)
• Not Again! Another Snowstorm Hits East Coast (abcnews.go.com)