Mood: Bored .: Bof :.
Listening to: .: Some kind of Jazz :.
Reading: .: Autobiography of Malcolm X – Alex Haley :.
Watching: .: Spongebob Squarepants (first time) :.
Inquisition: How do you make friends?
Aloha!
I’m sitting alone at school, and am bored out of my mind. My motorcycle is busted, it has a broken bolt on the oil pan tray thing and a stripped bolt on the cover where the oil filter goes. I couldn’t get the filter cover off, and still haven’t been able to.
That’s what sucks about working at a charity type job. You have no money. Period. I’m about 800$ in debt already, and get paid… oh… 200$ a month… Yup yup.
I don’t like being alone. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have much to do with insecurities anymore, I just don’t like it. I find it distasteful, because I like people so much. I like watching them, like talking to them, like getting to know them.
And for the past week I’ve been holed up in this school cleaning this classroom. For hours. By myself. Bleah.
No wonder I look forward to seeing Tamika all the time, she’s the only person I see.
She left instead of sleeping over the night before last; she had to get up early to go shopping with Vinny for mosaic tiles for their bar in the basement. He back had really been hurting, so I’d given her a massage and she dozed off while I was doing her neck. She woke up and mumbled she was sorry, but she had to leave.
I asked if she could take me to the grocery store later the next day after work. She said sure, but later called back and said she was too tired.
I think she might be getting sick, so I’m been doing my best to make sure I’m not keeping her up too late talking. About stuff. It’s probably not the best for me either, since I’m more likely to speak when I’m tired. For the first time in a while, I feel like I’m actually carrying on a conversation where I can comfortably talk about stuff that happened.
Just so long as it doesn’t spill into the present…
Vinny, Tamika and I are going to join Tamika’s Aunt Faye in Philly this weekend to see a jazz concert. It’s supposed to be really good.
I think Mystery has reasoned with Logic and calmed Passion down, but Joy still feels lonely.
You know what I miss? being able to look someone in the eyes for a while, just being quiet and looking, reading each other’s thoughts.
Maybe I’m loosing the ability to entertain myself… but then maybe I never had it…