Letter, Inya, & Christmas Tradition

Song playing: Usher – U got it Bad

Aloha!

I sent it. The letter to Caroline is on it’s way, and she’ll probably get it at least by the end of the week. Whether or not I get a reply or not, I feel better. I feel like at least I didn’t completely give up on something beautiful without giving it one more chance. A reclamation of a friendship is all I seek. And if she doesn’t want it, I’m ok with that. I’ve healed.

I talked to Inya on Monday night. I rode my moped down, but it actually proved beneficial because I ended up having to speed back because I had to talk with Reverend Thomas after Gospel Choir. I caught up with her just at Frey, and walked the rest of the way to Bittner. We got there, and spent about a half an hour talking about Thanksgiving break in the stairwell. It was such a nice feeling, knowing that someone would want to spend that kind of time… just to talk to you. The night was bitter, but I didn’t feel a thing the whole way home.

Got to talk to Nina some more on IM, it turns out we may be in the same class for either J-Term or Spring Semester. She might be going to a grad school in Hawaii! I’m so jealous.

Grace came by yesterday, it was her birthday. I guess no one else remembered. 🙁 Poor girl. I had sent her a card, so she came over and talked a bit. She’s been through so much trash, it’s not funny. She reminds me of some of the girls from home. It’s nice to be able to talk to her, though. She’s such a dedicated friend.

I called Inya tonight, and oddly enough, she also called me earlier. But apparently one of my knucklehead roommates answered the phone and told her I wasn’t here.
Anyhow, Christmas Tradition is coming up. It’s a very fancy and very expensive dance & dinner put on by the college. Everyone always dresses up to the max and goes to this thing.
Naturally, in our talking, the topic had come up between Inya and I. And though I didn’t mean to, I think I brought up the topic a few too many times. Plus, rumors are flying around the International circles about the two of us (mostly exaggeration’s), and so the combination of those two with both of us thinking about the situation far too much escalated the dance into much more than a simple get-together with friends.
I thought it might be a good idea to give her a call and make sure everything was ok. Interestingly enough, she thought the same thing, which is why she had attempted to call me. She was really flustered, because I still don’t think she’s ready to tackle these things head on. It was turning into a whole masquerade in which she knew she would be watched by all her friends as to who she danced with and who she hung out with. And I hadn’t really helped by repetitively bringing it up, because she thought perhaps I had ulterior motives.

I vowed to go stag to every dance and never actually invite anyone unless the relationship was already established. Dances are no place for first dates, or to test anything out. They’re just too volatile.

However, she made a similar vow that she simply wouldn’t go, unless it was with someone she really liked. And the thing is, I almost asked her to go, and was ready to buy her a ticket, but I didn’t want to put too much pressure on her.
Inadvertently, however, this put even more pressure on her because it left her attempting to figure out all the possible scenarios I might have ulterior motives for.

Now, she’s going. But she’s going because all her friends are going (not because of me) but she was afraid of what might happen if I asked her to dance.
So, I talked to her and let her know I wasn’t planning to make any kind of brash move like that unless I was asked for me. I’ve made my point of view clear enough, I don’t need to insult her intelligence by pulling something stupid or to try and manipulate her into a situation like that. The thought makes me shudder.

In any case, I’m going, and I was able to smooth things out, and she seems quite a bit more comfortable… with me at least. 🙂 I’m happy for that.

I’ll probably be going to Bangkok House for dinner rather than the one at the dance, because it looks like that’s what the people I’m riding with will be up to.

We’ll see what happens. I’m so glad we’re such good friends, though. It just… makes me feel good to be able to be that open with someone… and have them understand.

I’ve got to get to bed, I need to get up early for ceramics tomorrow.