Clay in the Potter’s Hands

Aloha.

Busy life for Ben, it’s been 2 weeks since the beginning of school.

I’m taking Senior Seminar, Ceramics, Graphics III and Swimming. It’s only 10 credits but the weight of the work is crushing me. AND I have to sign up for more credits or I won’t graduate. I hate this. I don’t feel like I’m given enough time to absorb anything, and it almost refutes the amount of money I’m shelling out to be here.

I’m now in the clear; with my parents’ help I just made it financially. I feel so miserable, because my parents are really hard on money already, and my sis is starting college next fall. I haven’t sold anything online in months, and I’m not sure why.

I am working 15 hours a week for SCS still, but that’s killing me too, because it means I don’t have enough time to study or practice clay.

Ceramics is the hardest course, demanding close to triple class time in outside work. AND that’s if you’re good at it. I suck at it. My clay I was just working on flew across the room off the wheel. I’m taking a short break from that to write this. Needless to say, I probably won’t be submitting any artwork for a while.

And, to even add to my feeling crummy, I haven’t sent out my sister’s birthday card I made for her (her B-day was Aug 26th) because the post office is never open when I have a free slot of time. It isn’t open until I’m already in class, isn’t open over lunch, and is closed by the time I get out of class.

Pagoda seems to be demanding more and more time, the boys want to add a second practice every week, and I’m already hard pressed to even have one a week. The load is just too much. I’m having rocky feelings about the band, it seems I’m not helping anyone by being there, and it’s slowly deteriorating my peripheral sense of morality. I’m saying things I shouldn’t be saying by hanging out with them and it’s starting to worry me. I often feel like the 5th wheel, no matter how much I help them in certain areas of composition. There just isn’t that much of a place for a piano in a rock band.

Gospel Choir has started up again, and I feel right at home in that.

Strangely, even with all that’s been going on, I feel surprisingly close to God. He’s been keeping me stable, even though everything else has been falling apart. I’m not sure how this is going to work out, but I guess we’ll see.

I HAVE to remember to add another class by the 15th, that’s the last day to do it.

I hate being a senior. I don’t want to leave all my friends.
I hate all this pressure, it doesn’t give me enough time to think.
I just want to learn. If I had the funds, I’d study at least 5 more majors just because I love to learn.

Could I study on my own? I wish I could.

DA3, Repair, and Real Life

Aloha!

Disorienting as it is, I think DA3 is good.
They’ve got a lot of bugs to work out, my main pet peeve the DevWatch. I usually keep pretty up to date on that, and while I don’t have time to comment on every single Deviation, I enjoy viewing them very much.
And consequently, so that they don’t have as much to update, I’m not submitting anything until Devwatch is back up.

I know it seems silly, but a single drop of water can make the difference to an overflowing dam.

Ah well, patience with the hard at work programmers. Much respect from me to Jark, Chris & Pachunka. They deserve a whole lot of props for getting this up, and anyone who says otherwise needs a little patience anyways. πŸ˜€

My apologies to those who have added me to their Devwatch recently; I will update the list below as soon as DA3 is working again.

I have submitted a poem to the infamous , who has graciously agreed to proofread my poetry. He is incredibly well-knowledged in this area, and I’d be awefully stupid to ignore his advice.
The poem will be my first submission as soon as DA3 is up.

Thank you very much for consoling me, and ; your kind words have really helped immensely. What I went through was rough (as you both now better understand); and despite my ever-optimistic attitude, sometimes I realize all too well sadness can be beautiful too.
I’m ok now, trying to secure new handholds to keep my hope up.

It’s a rough thing, you know? Being a romantic and having no one to love. I suppose being a hopeless romantic isn’t too bad. I just hope it doesn’t come off as being desperate, because I’m not.

I’ve been hanging out with Inya a lot, she’s quite the girl. She’s a wonderful person to talk to, and simply hand out and do nothing with. She does get a bit touchy on issues of race at times, though.
It’s strange. I’ve been through more racial hate than most people I know, but I’m the most laid back about it. I mean, it ticks me off that people get discriminated against; but when it comes to prejudice against me, they might as well save their breath. There isn’t anything I haven’t heard, and it isn’t going to affect me.
I’d much rather figure out ways of getting around the system than complain about it.

Oh well. People have different views, so let them be. It does seem, however, one misplaced comment could end her friendship with me, though. I don’t know. I don’t know her enough, I don’t think.

Lalrem and perhaps Regina are going to DC tomorrow, and most other people are heading out too.
This week has been incredibly easy at work, I usually get out early. I’ve been trying to hack into the printer system so I can print on a decent printer for the Moment game, but all printers are locked down, and the one in the library needs cleaning.

I guess I’ll get it printed out sooner or later, but I just want to get it done so I can play the darn thing.

My camera is busted, I’m going to have to take it apart and fix it sometime soon. The focus motor is misaligned, I think. It fell while I was trying to take a band picture down and Echoes Recording. I think I can fix it, but we’ll see.

I’m building a computer for Pagoda, and have gotten pretty far. I’ve got 2 hard drives that work, with a total of 15GB. It’s a recycled Athlon 800 Mhz processor, in a mother board with USB ports. It took me all afternoon, but I got that far. Next is a floppy drive and CD writers. If I can get those and the sound cards up by Monday, we’ll be in business!!!

I’m off to 3rd Floor Bittner now, Inya invited me over to her room to hang out.

Cheerio!

Recorded, Trapped & Forlorn

Song currently playing: Delirium – After All

Aloha…

We recorded this past weekend, and it went awesome. The pictures are up on .
We drove down to Maryland to this little dilapidated farmhouse. It really looked like a wreck, like something out of a cheap thriller movie where the deranged country bumpkin kills all his neighbors.
But once we got inside, we were impressed. Apparently Todd, the Studio’s manager, can’t do any exterior renovations due to strict building codes near Antietam. Proof that you shouldn’t judge by the outside…
We set up and got to work right away. Todd was a really friendly guy, and the band warmed to him easily.
Saxton and I weren’t doing the hottest, however, he had a sinus infection and I was still getting over the cold. I tried singing “Love Song For No One At All” that day, but just couldn’t do it for lack of breath.

That night we stayed at Saxton’s uncles’ place, he has a really nice house in upper-class Frederick suburbia. We were bushed and pretty much passed out on the couches in his basement. We went swimming the next morning in their pool, all save Spam; who hates water.

We drove back and hit the studio again, and by the time we were done we had 4 songs completely recorded, mixed and mastered. I still wasn’t able to sing at full potential, so with Todd’s help we piecemealed “Love Song” together. I think Saxton wanted to do the lyrics over again too, but we ran short on time. Poor guy was really hurting from the sinus infection.

Monday at lunch I had a meeting with Dining Services, they’d like to hire me as the web designer this fall. They weren’t too clear on the details, so I requested they send me the full job description and I’d consider it. It may work out, it may not. Student Computer Services has been pretty good to me, and I have a certain loyalty to them. We’ll see what they offer.

Monday evening I practiced with Lox some more; working on “Tidal Machines”. I rewired the Rhodes completely, so now I can play the Rhodes and the Yamaha at the same time, as well as running effects pedals. Lox is getting some pretty sweet fingerings for his guitar part for that song.

Tuesday went a little weird. I got off work early, and actually had a chunk of time where I had nothing to do.

I listened to Delirium’s “After All” and nearly broke down in tears. I haven’t been that affected by a song in a long time. The lyrics, if they had been written for a guy, would fit my situation exactly. It hurt really bad.
I don’t understand. It’s been almost a year since I broke up with Caroline. Why is it I still think of her every single day? It hurts too much. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. But I feel so wounded.
I suppose I do understand; I gave everything to love. So, when love left me, I had nothing. I feel so empty. God is still there, but I’m just a waif of what I once was.

Maybe it’s something else. I think me falling into crushes isn’t helping. But it’s so hard. I see these wonderful girls around me, and can’t help but be attracted to them. That’s the trouble with seeing the beauty in everything. You end up havin trouble deciding what is best for you.

I drifted around campus, like a ghost. I felt like I’d been stabbed, but no one noticed the wound. I went to dinner, I ate alone.

I kept drifting. Something kept drawing me to Bittner 3rd, I wasn’t quite sure what it was.
I kept walking, and was so dazed I seemed to loose consciousness and wake up to find myself on another part of campus.
Finally, I woke up in front of Regina’s door.
I stopped for a moment.
I knocked.
“Come on in!” she called.
The door was locked.
“I can’t!” I said.

I wasn’t sure why I was in front of her door. I’m not sure how I got there.

She opened the door and smiled. “Hi Ben!”
I looked through the door, then to her. “There’s no one else here?” Usually people would come hang out there, it gave me an excuse to hang out too, I suppose. She was dressed in boxers & a tee. Looked like she was going to bed or just coming from it.
“Nope, just me.” It didn’t look like the best time.
“You’re not working tonight?” Dumb question.
“Nope, I had off.”
“Oh, ok.” I was stammering now.

There was silence.
I smiled.
She smiled.

“Um, yeah”. I stammered some more.
She smiled. She smiled so warmly. The door wavered back and forth.

There was silence.
I smiled.
She smiled.
“Awkward.” I said sheepishly…
She laughed.
“I guess I’ll see you later, then…”
“Ok.” she said.
I turned to leave.
“You can come in if you want to…” she called after me.
I turned. I smiled sadly. “No, that’s ok. I don’t think it would be a good idea. I’ll see you.”
“See you…” She paused at the door a moment, and then turned to go back inside; leaving the door open.

I rounded the corner of the hall, and pounded my fist into it.
“Stupid.” I growled under my breath. Paint fell from the wall where I had planted my fist, but I didn’t feel anything.
Down the hall, Janice rounded the corner.
“Hey, Ben!” she smiled.
“Hi Janice..” I called back.
She paused.. “Are you.. ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine!” I called back, a little too loudly, a little to cheerily. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, ok.” She disappeared into her room.

I stumbled down to the lounge and plopped myself down on the couch. I was dazed. I wasn’t quite sure what had happened back there. Why was I always making excuses to go to Regina and Lalrem’s room? Why had I ended up there. Why had I froze? Why hadn’t I gone in? What the devil was wrong with me? Did I have a CRUSH on her? I don’t know. The questions sang louder and louder. I was completely inert, I sat staring blankly into the wall.
Why do girls have such a big effect on me? Why did I loose all control? Why do I feel such an overpowering desire to love and be loved?

I felt like a beast in a cage. I was fooling myself, no girl here even finds me remotely attractive. To them, I’m the goofy freak on a leash, the sometimes funny; often annoying kid who’s class ranking sets distance unfathomable. I seem older than I am at times, younger than I am at times, but never the age where they would take me seriously.

I sat there for 3 hours. I completely spaced out. Inya stopped by, asking me what was wrong, but I successfully diverted the conversation away from myself and let her move on to more important things.

10:00 rolled around. Finally, visitation hours ended. I stiffly rose, and trundled to the door.
I passed Regina’s room on the way out. Her door was still open. She sat at her computer, staring at her screen saver and talking on the phone.
I descended down the stairs.

I sang “Man in the Movie” all the way home at the top of my lungs.

Sosei, Tidal Machines, & Sick

Song currently playing: Pagoda – Tidal Machines (playing in my head, because there’s no music in the computer labs)

Bonjourno!

I’m STILL SICK. Well, not really. I cough about every 2 or 3 hours. I’ll be cured by tomorrow. πŸ˜€ (Big Grin)

Tuesday afternoon I went out with Lox to Walmart to pick up some stuff… but I forgot to get thick stock paper. Moment is completely done; but I can’t print it out. D’oh!!!
I helped him fix and tune his guitar, and then broke my rule and played “Man in the Movie” for him. I think he liked it, especially since he said “wow, that’s not usually your style, that’s MY style.”
Silliness. No one’s been able to figure out my “style” in any matter.
Anyhow, it was good I played it, because I nailed down the bridge for it too. I need to practice a couple more times, and then show it to the rest of the band.

I watched “The Usual Suspects” Tuesday night in Regina & Lalrem’s room. That movie ROCKS. A bit too much swearing for my tastes, but definitely ranks among Fight Club, Memento, Sixth Sense & Matrix. An excellent action movie, but the ending will leave you so completely floored. Must watch twice.
I watched it with Eunice, Lalrem, Joseph, Magda, Richard and Boone. Interesting developments between Lalrem & Joseph. I noticed it before when they were working, but we’ll see what becomes of it. It was a bit weird for me, because I used to have a crush on Lalrem before I realized she had a boyfriend. Strange thing is, however, I think she still does, and unless I’m mistaken; he may be studying here too. This might get interesting.

And by the way, if you think I’m being blunt and daring about expressing things about my love, I am. I’ve decided I don’t really care who reads my journal; if it’s the way I really feel, I’m going to write it. If you want to find out what I’m really thinking, it will be here.
I figure if someone reads it and dislikes it, I will have saved myself some heartache, I suppose. Anyways, it’s my journal. Anyone who doesn’t want to know shouldn’t read it.

Wednesday my boss took us out to lunch again, we went to Chi-Chi’s. I’d never been there. I love that place! The food is really good, especially their fried cheese-seafood things! Wonderful!

Wednesday night’s practice was incredible. We wrote a new song called “Tidal Machines” that is just… well, I’ve still got it in my head. It’s a beautiful song, one that I could fall asleep curled into a ball to. It’s very sad, but uplifting at the same time. hmmmmmmm. Kinda like Feivel’s “Somewhere out there”, I suppose would be a good comparison. I love that song so much. I think Saxton and I bonded a lot more in that song than we have in any other before.
We had played “tie my tongue up in knots” earlier, and Saxton seemed rather sullen. I didn’t know what to do. It seemed everyone was having fun playing it except him. It’s driving me bananas. I don’t want to steal the show, I’m not comfortable doing that. I wish we could work something out where we all wouldn’t mind if ANY of us sang lead, like the Beatles did. We can all sing, but our different voices only work on certain songs. It’s actually pretty rare that we can all sing at the same time. Saxton does mellow and hard stuff rather well, Lox does folkish stuff rather well, and I do love songs. Spam, well… we’re all working on Spam. πŸ˜€ (Big Grin) He can sing, just doesn’t like to most times. We’ll see. Maybe sometime in the future we’ll figure it out.

Anyhow, today I’ve been stuck in Jordan fixing these blasted computers. I’m starved and I’m going to dinner.

Adios!

Caverns, Pagoda, & Still Sick

Song currently playing: DC Talk – What if I Stumble

Aloha!

Tuesday finds me sick, but recovering.
Sunday evening was great, I love spending time with Mr. Ho. We went to Indian Echo Caverns. It was his first time going, though everyone in his house had gone. He never got to go because he had to work. He had invited me over to his house a couple weeks before, and I had recommended we rectify that problem.
He readily agreed, as long as it was accompanied by a Vietnamese dinner at a restaurant later, his treat. Of course, I was up for that. πŸ˜€ (Big Grin)

The caverns were truly stunning, and Mr. Ho, who had never seen such a thing, was truly stunned. Unfortunately, none of the dozens of pictures I took came out. My camera sucks in the dark, and has a terrible processing speed. Ah well. We had fun. Afterward we went out to a Vietnamese restaurant in Harrisburg. I had Pho’ (pronounced Fa), which is a delicious minty stew with beef, lettuce, parsley, sprouts, and different parts of a cow stomach. If the last one makes your stomach churn, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. It’s delicious.
It was joined with the complimentary spring rolls and French Iced Coffee. Mr. Ho also introduced me to a Coconut drink too, which I will have to learn how to make.
We spoke of many things, of love, of war, marriage and separation. I pity him sometimes, he has had such sorrow in his later years… if only his children saw that.

Monday we had Pagoda practice, and I met Saxton’s old roomie Long. Very nice fellow, and one heck of a football arm. He had had surgery done which had cost him a limp in his legs, but he made up for that by nailing every shot he fired.
Practice went well, we ran through the set smoothly, and Lox and I went over the solos in My Heart Set with the Sun and Of Things to Come, which I had been having trouble with. I think I’ve pretty much got them down.
Unfortunately, the blasted computer I’m trying to build for the band is not reading ANY drives now, causing me more frustration in not getting the band soft-recording. I’m thinking about changing motherboards.
The band just… gelled last night. Dunno. There was something there. We were running a new system, Lox got himself a new amp. I think he needs to spend some more time alone with it to get the levels, he doesn’t have as much bass pumping out of it. It’s nice and loud, but screechy.
Saxton used Lox’s old amp to sing through, but that was really screechy too. My head felt like needles by the time we were done.
I like having Saxton’s old amp to sing through, though. I think it fits my voice pretty well.
Lox caught me with the Man in the Movie song, but I told him I didn’t want to show it until after recording. I need to spend more time with it on the keyboard anyway, I need to develop the cello part more.
He mentioned, however, that he thought bands stayed together longer if each player brought a song to they had wrote to the table, and THEN asked for input.
I agreed with that very much. We do that sometimes, but a lot of our songs start out with someone messing around and everyone else jumping on the bandwagon. That works very well in some cases, but heaven forbid if you have any pre-defined ideas about the song, because the other players will squash them flat. Also, sometimes the medley completely changes because we can’t hear each other. This completely wrecks harmony at times.
I’m not sure. It works sometimes, but at times I feel it leaves something out. Orchestration is an important part of songwriting to me; I don’t put in parts of a song for no reason.
Dunno. I plan on having the cello, piano and vocals down before I play The Man in the Movie for them, and then ask what they might think about backup vocals, drums, guitar & bass. I think some of us like it one way and some of us like it the other, so I think compromise is good.
Besides, we do write some good stuff off the cuff.

We’ll see after this weekend.

Pho’ and Chai

Song currently playing: The Moffats – Bang Bang Boom

I love that song. ^_^

I’m very very sick. I started getting it Friday night, and by Saturday it was full-blown. My coworker had it and passed it on to me. No fun. Hopefully it won’t last long, though, and I’ll be up and at ’em tomorrow for work & Pagoda practice.

Speaking of practice, WE RECORD IN A WEEK!!!!!
I’m excited. As much as I hate recording, I’m thinking it maybe a little more fun in an actual studio.
Practice went really well on Wednesday, we moved upstairs to the empty bedroom to avoid any further floods. I love the acoustics of this room, it makes everything vibe really good.
I’m not sure what’s going on with Saxton. I got weird vibes from the band that night. Saxton wrote a rap section to “Love Song for No One at All”. It seemed a little sarcastic to me at first, because I’m not sure if he was ridiculing my “style of music”.
Apparently, everyone in the band assumes my style of music is “happy sugar music”. Spam has mentioned it, and Saxton’s rap mentioned it, and Lox seems to have it in his head too. I don’t know where they get the idea from. I listen to every genre under the sun, and will play it on my keyboard too if I have the capability.
I suppose I can’t expect too much from them, they’ve really only just met me. Maybe one day they’ll discover more sides to me. In the mean time, I’ll do my best not to throw off ‘band unity’ with my eccentric musical tastes and philosophies.
I’m trying to work with every member, but having them assume stuff about me makes it difficult.
Ah well. *goes and listens to some Pavarotti*

On Friday my boss Berte took my and Christina out for lunch in her Mustang. (:iconrobotorion:) (Smile) I LOVE riding in convertibles!!! We went to a restaurant called the “Old Country Buffet”. Interesting place, I don’t eat American food much. Lot’s of weird stuff, like steamed cabbage, fried catfish and sauerkraut.
I didn’t like most of it, but they had some REALLY good macaroni and cheese and Boston Seafood Salad. Yummeh. πŸ™‚ (Smile)

Friday night I went out for a BBQ at James Hubbards’ house, he’s the international students supervisor. That was a blast. We had burgers and hot dogs, played Croquet and then lounged around playing Taboo while the fireflies danced around us.

Afterwards, we all went out to see Bad Boys II, the second time for me. I kinda had to go seeing as how I was the Van driver, but I love movies anyways.
I really want to see Pirates of the Caribbean, though.
I almost fell asleep a couple times in the movie, the sickness was really taking hold by that time.
Eventually it ended, and we headed home. Once I got to my room, I just crashed into bed.

The beach trip was canceled on Saturday due to lack of people, but it was good for me, because I slept in and stayed in bed being so sick.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in Janice’s room, she sprained her ankle and has been pretty much confined to 3rd floor. I brought her my new laptop, so she might have something to do.
We watched Insomnia in Setti’s room, with Lalrem, Magda, Boone, Eunice and Joy. That was one freaky movie. Well thought out, and very very psychological. I liked it, but it was a little dark for my tastes.

And that brings me to today.
I’m going out with Mr. Ho, an elderly Vietnamese war veteran whom I used to work with in the dining hall dish room. Very good friend. We’re going to Indian Echo Caves and afterwards he’s taking me out for Pho’ and a Vietnamese restaurant. I love Pho’.

Adios, muchachos!

Hershey Park

Song currently playing: Bring me to Life – Evanescence

It’s Aliiiiiiiiiive!

My computer is finally functioning again, after much toil. I’ve been reinstalling all my programs slowly, I need to work on my scanner and my tablet next. I did a new DevID, though. I felt it was time for a new one.

I also created a new account, , whose purpose will be to illustrate my journal. The work there is not artistic, but since I like being creative, chances are you’ll find some interesting shots there. It is more of a photo album of the rest of my life. You will meet all my friends there, and will be able to see what I’m really like. The journal will still be post here, but if you want to see the pictures, go there.

My moped broke down while I was out buying software for my computer, but a nice man helped me out. He threw my moped in the back of his little pickup truck and drove me home. Cool guy. He’s a retired computer systems installer who used to ride motorcycles. He installed the base systems for all the Navy’s computers, and continued to update them until 2000. Very very smart man. I gave him my number, he’s going to look for motorcycles for me.

I woke up Monday, panicking that I was late for work.
Then I realized that I was going to Hershey Park!
We left early, I drove a van dubbed “the bachelor mobile”, since all the single guys (including myself) happened to hop on board. We jammed to the radio all the way there, windows down and breeze blowing in our faces.

It was the most perfect day. After figuring out meeting places and times, we scattered through the park. Me and a bunch of other friends ran to the very end of the park to work our way back, so as to avoid the lines. It wasn’t bad, though, since it was a Monday. We went on every water ride and every roller coaster (some a couple times!!!). I had so much fun.
I didn’t get into much deep conversation like I had the last time I went to Hershey Park, but I had a blast anyways so it didn’t really matter.
I mostly hung out with Lalrem, Boone, Collins, Janice, Erin, Eunice, Magda, and Regina. The others usually dispersed themselves throughout the park. Priscilla, Jon, and the Hubbards I barely saw, and that was just by chance.

I had to leave early, unfortunately. A bunch of kids needed to be back early, so I loaded them into the van and took them home. I kinda did need to get back, so I could make band practice, but it wasn’t easy leaving that park.

It ended up good that we got back, though, because then I got dinner at Lottie, and was able to take a couple stabs at my computer when I got back.
Practice was awesome, though I sometimes still wonder if Jared’s completely comfortable with me. I just [i]feel[/i] something different from him. It’s not the same as Lox & Spam, we just have a strong connection yet. I’m hoping this will improve once we start working on the Direct Hit side project. We’ll see. He seems almost defensive of his lyrics, it makes me increasingly nervous when I’m asked to do backup vocals. Crowds don’t make me nervous, but I can’t sing to my full potential when I’m nervous.
I get the feeling that he’s been criticized to much on his vocals & lyrics. Even when Spam makes suggestions, he gets very defensive. We’ll see what happens.
The basement flooded right in the middle of practice, sending puddles to the middle of the floor. The stream headed to our amps, so we ended up abandoning practice and getting everything off the floor.

The rainstorm was gigantic, knocking out the internet for a while and felling several branches off the tree in our neighbor’s yard.

Got to clean the house tonight, Cathy is coming over tomorrow at 1 to “inspect”.

Happy Fathers Day

Song currently playing: Thinking of You – Bonnie Pink

Happy Fathers Day, everyone! Call your Papa!

Yippeee! I’m fwee!

Photography class is over, and I got my grade back! A-!!!! I was floored! This guy is one hard grader! On top of that, though, he pulled me aside and talked all about how much he liked me in the class! AND, he gave me a whole box of photopaper! The stuff is worth like 50$!!! Anyways, I’m pretty happy. πŸ™‚
It’s still not completely paid for, though I’m trying. Another paycheck is supposed to come in Friday, maybe that will boost it enough.

I now have more time. I got to send all my citizenship papers in. Hopefully they’ll reach my Dad in time.

The car is almost all primered, now I need to get that paint in from the Mazda dealership, and I’ll be all set.

Lox, the guitarist in Pagoda is staying at my place for a little while, and we’ve been writing songs right and left.

I got to get back to work, I’m finishing up a price list for a website design that :devkelticangel: proposed to me.

Death to Microsoft

Right.
So, my computer is dead. It contracted a virus that slipped through my virus protection and wrecked havoc by installing so much spyware it overloaded my CPU and crashed. I wiped me C: drive (which has no artwork on it, by the way) and am in the process of reformatting and reinstalling. Hopefully my D: drive will be ok, ’cause that’s where all my work is. I unplugged it, so it should be fine.

In the meantime, I’m writing to you from a laptop I found in the dumpster this weekend. It needed work, so I fixed it and now I can connect to DA and type. It is a Win98 machine, has a 1.5 GB hard drive, no sound hardware and registers about 30 words per minute. I have to pause every now and then to let it catch up with my typing. Ah well, it works, and it’s portable. So, what the heck.

I’ve been busy, I went to see the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen on Friday. Pretty good movie, that is VERY true to the books. Some of the plotline is a little improbable and the computer graphics a little hokey, but all in all it was worth it.
On Saturday I went to the Lancaster Outlets. I didn’t but anything, I just went because I was the driver for the trip, and spent the entire afternoon napping on a picnic table under a gazebo. Beautiful day. πŸ™‚ (Smile) Saturday night I went to a Pearl Jam concert. One of my friends got tickets for my whole band to go. It was awesome. I got pretty close too, just in front of the soundboard stage.

I won’t be putting up any work until my computer is fixed, just to let you know.

Postage

Song currently playing: Oracle – Paul Spaeth

Holy mother of Buddah! I’ve reached 1000 pageviews!
*feels very conceited* *blush*
People … are … WATCHING ME. o_O (paranoid)
Cool! ^_^

Anyhow, it seems a lot of people liked my Poetry submission “Light in the Window”. It’s currently my top piece (it bulldozed Slanted Sunset in a matter of hours, peaking at 10 comments and 6 favs).

*deflates head*

I did get a mysterious number of DevWatches by people whom I have not met, however. I Devwatched them back, so I guess I’ll find out who they are when they submit something.

Things are going good here, though I feel I’m constantly behind in practicing for the band. I’m ready, and we’re having a practice tonight, but I keep feeling I’d rather spend time on Bittner 3rd or in the Green House with my friends. Ah well.
I guess less Devtime will help that, I’m going to try and cut myself back down to one Dev a day.

I feel like I talked :icongreenegssandham:’s ear off… she asked me what had happened with the situation with Caroline.
Oie. Me so Dumb.

I’m really starting to appreciate ‘s comments, he’s very insightful, and doesn’t beat around the bush.

No dreams lately, but I keep feeling that I’m letting something pass me by. It’s a repetitive feeling, and it’s driving me wild. There are at least 7 girls who are close friends who I feel I should be spending more time with, but I’m running myself ragged as it is. *sigh* I wish I didn’t have some things in my life, so that I could sit down and chat with them like I chat with some people on this site.
I don’t know, I guess I just feel bad when this very very sweet girl comes up to me in the cafeteria and remarks that it’s been unfortunate that she hasn’t seen me in a while.

Sensing people’s feelings is something I naturally do, but right now there are so many that I’m trying got decipher.