Harambee Bible Study.

Matthew 5:3-10

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

2 Timothy 2:23-26

²³ Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. ²⁴ And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.²⁵ Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, ²⁶ and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

• Poor in Spirit: Those who are Humble.
• Meek: Kindness & Gentleness (can save lives, and is not a weakness.
• Thirst for Righteousness: You will always be thirsty, because the world cannot fill you.
• Mercy: Luke 6:36-3736 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
  37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
  We pick and choose. You won’t be blessed if you don’t show mercy. Those who judge, can’t take judgement.
• Peacemakers: Being peaceful is a State. Do something about it.
• Persecuted: What are we providing to the enemy? When you’re standing for right, who cares? It’s ok! Don’t be popular, win souls not approval!

You must unlearn your definition of being blessed. To be blessed means to be spiritually prosperous. To be spiritually prosperous, you must chase God. If you’re not being blessed, what are you chasing after?

This past week has been garish, the worst in the entire existence of my conscious thought, honestly.
But it’s over.
Tamika and I had the best make-up period in the history of couples making up. My eyes were aching by Thursday from the sheer volume of saline that seeped from them. And they were kissed away so delicately and so gently and so lovingly that my soul was planted again and coaxed once again to grow.
In the entire history of the world, there were seven broken hearts that were completely healed. And this put them all to shame.
The wounds will heal, at least this I know. God formed me with a thick hide.

It rained, and rained, and rained. And it was COLD. I’ve doggedly stuck to my motorcycle, though, even though prices of gasoline have plummeted below 2.45$. Wow, 2.45$! I remember when it was 1.63$… Something like last YEAR…

It did rain terribly one day, though, and I used the excuse that I had sold 8 framed photographs and drawings at a block party at my church and that I needed the car to carry them around as a reason to drive to work. I’ve gotten into the habit of updating the information of the pieces I sell to read something like .:Hanging at such & such:.
I like it, it makes me happy. I don’t sell my pieces for very much, about 12.00$ for a 8.5×11 print. I like getting it out there, I like people to be able to decorate their homes.
I have been doing a whole lot of freelance work, though. My boss, Chris, hired me on the side to design the Huggins Website (www.hugginsprinting.com) which will be completely done at the end of this month. The website they have up now honestly isn’t bad, but it’s not easily updated. So they haven’t updated since 2003.

The persistence of the addiction had gone down quite a bit, and though the temptation is still there, I’ve been getting more and more support, and it’s enabled me to resist it.

Greg (Berte’s husband) has been working on the Wiiskichaan with me a lot, and last time I visited we took the carburetor apart. I’m getting more comfortable with him, and he with me, and it’s been giving me the opportunity to ask him more questions about what he’s doing and how things work with my motorcycle. I still don’t feel like I have much of any intuitive mechanical knowledge when it comes to engines, but I’m slowly getting better. Together we figured out why my choke was messed up. It was set to idle regularly when it was fully open, so naturally, when the choke was closed when the motor is warmed up, like it’s supposed to, the engine stalled for lack of air. We adjusted it, and he showed me how the vacuum diaphragm worked, and said I could expect to get a lot more mileage, since now the engine wasn’t revving so high when it was standing still.
The throttle still goes high when I’m stopped, but Greg believes that’s because the throttle cable is bent and wrapped around the wiring so much that it doesn’t slide well enough. I was thinking to myself that I might also be able to put some graphite down it so it slides easier.
I asked him to look at my chain as well. On my trip to Canada the chain fell of in Vermont. The guy at a Yamaha shop that was nearby said my back wheel was not tight enough and so he tightened it. However, months later, my chain fell off, and has been falling off more and more lately. I’ve been able to pop it back on, much like I would pop the chain back on a bicycle. Greg was shocked when he saw my chain. He said normally chains have about ½ an inch of play (which means they move about ½ inch of up and down movement in the middle of the chain). My chain had about 3 inches.
I went out and bought a new chain (about 35$) and hopefully I’ll get to put it on this week.

Tamika left her Jetta’s sunroof open on the week that she was in the Bahamas, and with all the rain, it kinda filled up with water and stinks. And THEN when she started it, the engine light not only came up, but blinked. Upon looking up what a blinking engine light meant, I discovered that when an engine light blinks, the problem is so bad that the onboard computer thinks the problem is so bad that it might hurt the engine. So tomorrow, I’m going to drive the Jetta to work. I found out that unbeknownst to most people, AdvanceAuto, provides FREE computer checkups from their shops. And there’s one right next to Huggins. I’m hoping it’s ok. I’ve been letting her drive my Passat in the meantime. I don’t mind in the least because I have my beloved motorcycle.

Aloha

Well, I’ve sifted through 200 of the 650 pieces of art I need to go through, and all 300 of the journals that were piled up.

And I’ve discovered my internet connection is a tad to slow to upload anything. Rats.

I haven’t really done much of anything all day, except read deviations. I made some Eggs & HotDogs for Tamika when she came by on her break. I feel very unmotivated, but I guess I’m detoxing from everything at work.

My brain still feels like mush. I should turn on the radio and listen to NPR or something and clean.

My computer really is a piece of junk. The monitor is tiny, and it’s actually being held together with duct tape. My next computer will be a Mac with OSX Tiger on it. I was actually debating about riding the motorcycle to work so I could use my computer there.

Blaaaaaaaaaah.

I’m going to clean.

Aloha

I got to talk with my parents the other day, and they expressed a little concern that I wasn’t updating my DA account lately.
I honestly didn’t know they looked at it that much (they rarely comment on my work) but it warms my heart that they do… So I’ll try to update more.

Working at Huggins as a designer is a lot of fun. It’s pretty similar to doing graphic design classwork, except I have multiple projects instead of just one at a time (though I guess I did in school too, just with different classes) and rather than being able to learn how a professor grades or what they expect, you have to guess that from every customer.
It’s difficult, but it’s not hard once you get the hang of it. And also, you get to learn what the different Huggins Salesmen are like and what kinds of customers they get.
The best customers are the ones who have absolutely no idea what they want, because mostly they just trust your judgment on things. I get a lot more freedom and get to stretch my abilities more.

Recently I was involved with a play called “The Maafa: What it means to Speak Life”. It’s a play put on by one of the members of my church (African American) and so naturally I have to play the token white guy.
It was been really really tough for me to do, especially since my two big roles are a wannabe Black Panther member and a slave buyer (among a few others). It literally goes against every fiber of my being, but I’ve slowly been able to resolve myself enough to be able to get into my characters. I came to the realization that the reason my characters exist at all in the play is to poke fun and body-slam historical actualities of the way white people were, and a lot of people need to realize that.
Plus, where else could I make a complete idiot of occidentally-minded people and have the audience think it was awesome?

Tamika and I have been doing wonderfully, and I’ve pretty much come the conclusion that by this time next year (Lord willing) we’ll be engaged. Money is still very tight right now, which is probably the main reason I haven’t done anything about it sooner; but it has been good for us to learn more about each other. With each day I learn more and more that I am absolutely in love with her.
Oh what a feeling! (cheesy 70’s ballad music in the background.

I’m still living in Lemoyne ([link]), and I am growing into my house. I’d still rather be across the river, but I like my home. I’ve been getting rid of more and more stuff, and am trying to live simply and inexpensively. As a matter of fact, this weekend I’m having a yardsale (or joining in) with my landlady and her son. It’s a cozy little place. I don’t quite have a kitchen table yet, but if you don’t mind eating off the coffee table, stop by for a visit.

Tamika and I were recently blessed with cars! She got a candy-coloured red 97 Volkwagen Jetta, and I got a maroon V6 96 Volkwagen Passat. They are really beautiful cars. I’ve been trying to take really good care of them. I got the manuals for both and have been doing my best to make sure they stay in shape. We just took Tamika’s to Firestone the other day, and she has a few things that need to be tuned up, so pray that we’re able to get the money for that. I haven’t taken my car for it’s first checkup yet, but I know that it needs leaks repaired with oil and steering fluid. But they run beautifully, and we’re so blessed to have them.

I just got done fixing up my motorcycle, and surprised Tamika with it last week. I’d been working on it secretly for about 2 or 3 months with Greg, the husband of my old boss at Messiah, and finally got everything done on it. Now all I need to do is get it inspected and go for my liscence test (I have a permit now). She said that riding the motorcycle was one of the things she really liked doing when we first started being friends, and had been gently pestering me about it all summer. She was floored.

That’s pretty much the news on this end,
Thanks so much for all your prayers!

Aloha!

I’d just like to say that I have the best girlfriend in the world.
I don’t care what y’all say. I got the best.
She stopped by today just to say hi, brought me Wendy’s (cheeseburger, baked potato, root beer, & ice cream), and sat in quiet awe while I worked on a design I’ve been doing for PIAA.
And she stared at me. just smiling.
It made me feel good, it was just a peaceful I-like-being-with-you smile.

I’ve been running ragged lately, with the play, and trying to do enough at work so i get the money for my bills.
And now with Tamika’s lil sister Natalia here, I’ve had to either leave early or stay late so I can either drop her off or pick her up for Soccer Camp.

Tamika just got a new car, a shiny 1997 VW Jetta with a sunroof, and she’s giving me her Golf.

I DO need to smile more.
Thanks, Sto.

I gotta go, the play is about to begin.

Opening NIGHT!

Aloha!

Had a long practice for “What it Means to Speak Life”, the play that I’m in this coming Tues, Wed & Thurs.

Tamika asked me to come over at 9 before I drove to the rehearsal.
She had been very moody the night before, and wanted a hug and to apologize.
I don’t mind it, and honestly I feel bad for girls since they had to deal with that once a month. And no, I’m not being sarcastic. It’s a little rough when I’ve had a crummy day myself, but working together is what it’s all about, right?

The play went smoothly, and I packed the back of my rockin’ Corolla FX (snicker) with my costumes. I brought my beret for the Black Panther scene. I’m glad I saved it, it was from when I was in Cadets in Canada.

We practiced in a church that used to be a school next to Harambee (my church) and fortunately they had air conditioning. It was HOT today.

I’m really bonding with a lot of the cast members, most of whom are neo black nationalists. They are such deep and passionate people, and are making great friends.

I finished rehearsal at around 4:30 (we started at 10) and rushed to Home Depot to meet Tamika on her supper break.
She apologized again, and I took her out to Wendy’s. We talked about stuff that was bugging her and worked out plans to pick up her car.

She’s getting a mint condition red 1997 VW Jetta from Philly, and she’s letting me have her old 86 VW Golf.

Her friend Joy is coming tomorrow, and Tamika is inviting her to church with us (Tamika got Sunday off for the first time in a long time). I told Tamika I might go down to Berte’s house, and she asked if I would take the Golf so I could get it vacuumed out with Berte’s shop vac.
I dropped her off and went down to Berte’s.
Greg has pneumonia and so I just vegged with him for a while, and he ordered some gaskets for the fuel-stop on my motorcycle.
I already got it insured, retitled, and registered, so it’s about ready to go. All I have to do is do the finishing touches (getting the tank back on and the horn connected) and I’ll be ready for inspection.

I vacuumed out her car and watched some of the “Blue Collar Comedy” with them on TV. Some of it was funny, but a lot of it was stinkin’ offensive.
At one point, the “Cable Guy” sang a Christmas song about “illegal aliens getting green cards, learning how to drive, and then learning some !@#$ english.”
The crowd went wild. They gave him a standing ovation.

I mean, bloody hell.
Every bloody white person on this continent is an illegal alien. They just KILLED OFF the original inhabitants.

Maybe that’s one of my biggest problems with a president like Bush. He caters to people like that. People who are oppressive to other people.
While Americans get treated like royalty in other countries. What a bunch of crap.
People have told me to my face: “If you don’t like it, leave.”
No problem. Get me a ticket, and be on the next flight. The only reason I’m here is because I was suckered into taking out a Student Loan.
There’s nothing that could convince me to stay on this sinking ship.

I bit my tongue. Berte & Greg are wonderfully nice people. Berte and I are the best of friends, but we dissagree on some politics. Berte & Greg were in the Navy for a long time, which gives one a lot of pride in their homeland.

I drove home, and Tamika came by to drop off my car.
She seemed abrasive, but I was probably just tired and sensitive.
I think I’ll call her.

Aloha!

The past couple months for me have been chaotic, and some of you have been bugging me for the story. And, I owe a bunch of you e-mails anyways…
So, if you’re getting this; you’re on my mailing list I’ve been putting together of people who mean a lot to me. If you can’t stand big-‘ol-emails like this, just e-mail me back and let me know and I’ll take you off.

As many of you know, I was working as an Art & Computers teacher in Harrisburg since I graduated in May. The school was a small one, which catered to inner city kids and gave them a free private education. The
school provided my food and housing, which was helpful. The work was mostly volunteer, because the pay was only about 168$ a month.

Around the middle of December, though, I had to leave, and immediately before Christmas vacation I found myself without a job, without any means of transportation (the motorcycle was broken), without any cash (my last paycheck going to student loans), and without food (the school provided that too).

Throughout January I searched desperately for work, sending out over 75 applications, doing odd jobs for extra cash, and even going to the blood bank for some money. And in the thick of it all, when I thought it could not get any worse, I found out I had to move out of the place I was staying. I had originally thought (and talked over with the landlord) that I might be able to stay if I just filled in the rent money that the school had provided. But this was not an option, and since someone needed to move in soon, I had to be out by the end of January.

I began calling around some of my friends, and Berte Thompson, my old boss from working at Messiah offered me a place to stay in the guest room of her house for a month or two. I gladly accepted.
Three more of my friends stepped foreword; Jessamine, Vinny and Tolu all offered storage space in their basements. So, with Tamika’s help and my former roommate Laux’s SUV, I was able to move everything out
by the end of January.

Tamika is the most fantastic girl I have every met, and I’m proud to say I she is my girlfriend. Some of you may know her from Messiah Gospel Choir, Lacrosse or Engineering. Her and I became best friends over the summer and in October decided our feelings for each other were of a deeper current.
Without her and her family’s help, I would have never been able to get through this. Where were my parents? My parents are missionaries in Northern Quebec, and are currently taking some time off in Connecticut so my sister can go to school. Times are hard for them too, since my dad has only been able to work part time; going up to Quebec every couple months.

Tamika lent me her car to find work, made sure I ate properly (despite my many protests that I could survive quite adequately on Ramen Noodles and Mac & Cheese), and provided me with more support than I thought was possible for one person to give to another. More than anyone else, she made me see that the only way to survive was by trusting God.

We joined Harambee United Church of Christ in Harrisburg mid-January, and from then on things began slipping into place.
Immediately after I moved to Berte’s, I got a call back from a Photography place I had applied to; a portrait studio called Lifetouch that does school portraits. They said they wanted me to start work immediately. There was one catch: I needed a car to transport the photography equipment from school to school.
I prayed, and took the leap.

Tamika let me borrow her car for the couple weeks, and by the end of that week I was able to buy a car with help from Tamika’s mother. I was able to find a silver & rust ’87 Toyota Corolla FX. I got it insured, and on the road just as soon as training for the photo job was over.

My first paycheck was last week. I was finally able to pay some bills, and start paying back the numerous friends who have lent me their assistance.

Life at Messiah, in retrospect, was easy.
I was able to life at Rafiki all 4 years.
I ate healthily the whole time, even when I didn’t have a meal plan.
I was able to get all my classwork done, and still have time to tear around on a moped, sleep in the grass, and be heavily involved in ISA.
I had a good job where I worked very hard to get to the top, and made lots of money (at least, a lot in my point of view).
I graduated with flying colours, I had gotten myself a new job, I had gotten myself a place to stay, I had even gotten a motorcycle so that I could enjoy myself.
I, I, I. I had done many things. Graphic Design, Photography, hundreds of extra curricular activities that I used to have fun and to grow as a person.

But this winter, God took everything I had away, (aside from blessing me with a girl who loves me like crazy) and just when I was at my deepest despair, I realized that I didn’t trust Him at all. I had relied completely on myself. I had accomplished many things, right? Made many friends, right? Why shouldn’t I feel proud of myself? In short, it made me not rely on God at all.
Once everything was gone, I found it was very tough. VERY very tough, simply to know where the next bite of food was coming from, or the next tank of gas, or the next good night’s sleep. I kept trying to do my best, to fix things, to stretch myself just so I could have the basic necessities. And I couldn’t.
Try as I might, I could not make ends meet. I was only when I gave up, and told God I’d trust him for whatever I needed that I got anything.

It was a tough lesson to learn.
But He’s taking care of me.

I have more good news!

This week I got a job as a Designer for Huggins Printing Company in Harrisburg. I had gone in printing place to print out a large dolphin poster I had designed for Tamika’s room to give to her for her birthday, and when I was done working out the details of how I wanted it printed, I asked them if they were hiring.
Chris Gustin, the CEO of the company, asked what I could do, and said he was  very impressed by the poster, and if I would bring in my portfolio the next day. I said sure, and asked how much I owed him for the poster.
Chris told me not to worry about it, and just come back tomorrow.

The next day, after finishing my photography job, I came in to Huggins with my portfolio; in my haste forgetting to update my resume and to include as well.
As I walked through the door, a woman approached me and asked me if I was “the young man named Benjamin”. I cautiously said I was, and she introduced herself as Chris’ wife, Tammy, who worked in the Public Relations department of the company. She said she had heard good things from Chris about me, and hoped I would be brought aboard.
Chris was busy at the moment, so his father (and former CEO), Art, showed me around the place and boasted with pride all the things they were currently working on. “My son, Chris, he’s quite the boy when it comes to all the digital mumbo-jumbo.” He laughed heartily, “Me, I’m just around to poke fun and have a good time. If ya can work for Chris, ya can work for anybody. He’s a good guy. I’m a better judge o’ character, though*” He
winked broadly, and took me by the shoulder. “I’ll tell ya one thing,” he whispered, “Ya got me in your corner. I’m rootin’ for ya.” Rather taken aback, he gave me a shove into Chris’ office. I handed over my portfolio on the CD, and busied myself with watching the enormous printer they had slowly print out Tamika’s poster.
Chris grunted and muttered praises and approval as he went over my work. I wasn’t sure how to take him just yet, and if he really meant it.
Art came in to talk, and asked me where I was working now. I told them about my job with Photography, but explained that because it depended on the schools for pictures, that I would be out of the job in the
beginning of May.
I said I would be willing to leave the Photo job if I was given a much better offer, but would prefer to stay on for the time I had committed to for loyalty’s sake.
Art and Chris laughed, and Chris said that he’d give me a much better offer than the Photography job, including benefits, but that he’d wait until May “if he had to.”

All of a sudden Tammy rushed in, panic stricken. She needed an autograph page the Harrisburg Senators (the city’s baseball team) in the next hour.
Chris plopped me down in from of one of the Macs. “Alright,” He smiled, “Time for you to work off the price of that poster. Use any program you want, just get it done and make it look good.”
After recovering from my shock, I got to work, asking lots of questions and making sure I was doing what the client was looking for.
Tammy was shocked. Chris laughed. “You’re not used to having a designer actually listen to you are you?”
I finished the project on time, and by then it was closing time. Chris told me we’d talk the next day.

When I arrived, Chris was busy again, so Art sat me down in his office. He didn’t say much, but winked a couple times. When Chris was done, he began showing me through the Art department and explaining
how everything worked. And as a simple side note, he added, “Oh, and in case you were wondering, you’re hired.”
Inside, I was jumping around all over the place, but I restrained myself to a simple “Sweet!” He explained that the way it would work is that I would keep coming over after work like I had been doing and he would train me. He told me to log my hours, and he would pay me for them, and to get any books I wanted from Barnes & Nobles to help me learn about any programs I wanted and he would take care of the receipts.

And as if that wasn’t enough, that evening, I found a place to live.
Vinny, Tamika’s roommate, had seen some places right near their house while she was on her way to work, and one of them I was able to get. It’s the whole downstairs of a house with a basement and all utilities
except electricity included for 450$ a month!
My new address is:

Benjamin Jancewicz
350 Hummel Ave.
Lemoyne, PA 17043

I was able to move in right before Tamika and I left for Easter break
to see my parents, which is where I’m at right now!

Hope you’re doing well, and write back to me!

Much love,
~Benjamin

Aloha!

I got a job!!!

Less than a week before I have to move out, I got a job a place called “Lifetouch Studios”, a photography company. I’ll be making 10$ an hour, not bad at all!!

There remains a few things to be ironed out…
I’m going to need a car of my own soon… Tamika has been wonderful enough to share hers with me, but I’m going to need it a lot because I’ll be having to tote around my own photography equipment and setting it up. Tamika’s got to get to work somehow.

I’ve got to get a place of my own as soon as enough money, and I also have to find some place to store my extra stuff that I’m not bringing to my boss.

I’m sure God has something for us, he’s taken care of us thus far. Money has been appearing to take care of us, and people have been supporting us and helping us out.

Thanks so much for all your well wishes and prayers (and a special thanks to those of you who bought prints! You rock!)