Memory and Trains

Aloha!
I’m writing from the Baltimore-New London train. We’re about 2 hours away still. Tamika has her feet across my lap, and Nya is tucked in at my feet sleeping soundly in her car seat.
I love train rides.
The fascination was born into me early; I still remember glimpses of riding with my parents on the Chicago elevated trains when I was little. We lived on Magnet Avenue in Chicago. I recently found out they had made a Google Maps Street View of it and went to take a look; but I wasn’t able to match any of the houses with the faded photograph of me and my dad sitting on the porch.

I remember a lot of when I was little. Comparatively, anyhow… Most people don’t seem to be able to remember much past 3 years old. Some particularly close-minded people don’t remember anything past their 20’s… 🙂 I remember a thunderstorm and my mom & dad bringing me out on the porch to watch. I remember going to a pumpkin field for Halloween. It was sunset, and all the pumpkins were the same colour as the sun… I remember my parents drawing faces on three pumpkins with a Sharpie, (mine was the smallest; the size of an apple) and then scooping out their guts and setting them aglow atop our mantle (or was it an upright piano?)

Certain things escape me. A lot, actually. I remember us living at some pastor’s house at one point. All the “kids stuff” that the house had was a tire swing on a big tree out front.
I remember discovering that not only did the faded green and brick coloured tiles at the top of the creaky wooden stairs on the second floor come up when you picked at them, but they also had about 50 years worth of dust underneath them that was fun to drive my toy cars through.
But I have no idea why we lived there, or when, or for how long.

I think that’s why I like to write journals, so that when I’m 60 or 70 I’ll be able to read them and find out what life was like and remember.

I have a pretty bad memory. If you know me at all, I’ve probably forgotten your birthday. And I’ve probably forgotten it more than once. I’m not a pompous prick, I promise. I actually feel so bad when I forget something; that it completely wrecks whatever mood I’m in when I find out. I feel really awful. I’ve been trying really hard to figure out what to do to help myself out.

I used to be bad at remembering where I put things. My glasses were constantly lost; my keys, my wallet… Anything not permanently attached to my body got lost. So, I started to develop a system. Wallet in left pocket. Glasses case on right. Keys on left belt loop. Change goes on the right. Camera bag goes over left shoulder and sits on right side. Always.
These things keep me from loosing them, because otherwise they’re really gone. I feel like there is something wrong with me mentally when I do it, but I feel like I have no choice.
It’s the same when I come home. If I don’t put my bag, shoes and coat in the exact same place each time, I loose those too.
For birthdays and such, I’ve started to put them in an online calendar. It lets me know when people’s birthdays are, and if I do it right, it alerts me a couple days in advance.
But then… sometimes I forget the alert…

My long term memory is really strong, though. I remember a lot of details about past events.
Journals help with this too.

So; back to today.
We were late for our train. We were initially supposed to take the 10:10am train from Baltimore. But, because of a number of things; we got there at 10:11. I literally was running along side the train as it pulled off; shouting at the conductor to let us on.
He was right; it was safer to wait for the next train with me carrying Nya in her car seat, but it still made me mad. He had signaled to the engineer to pull off even though we were on the platform.
Ah well.
Tamika got us Business Class tickets for the 4:47pm train (the last ones available), and we went back home for a while. It ended up being a good thing, because Tamika had forgotten her phone, and we got to pay Talisha for watching Nya for the past two weeks.
Not only that, but a couple ads in the Philadelphia City Paper I had done for Chosen Dance Company had needed to be resized (or they would have missed the publication deadline), so I was able to do those too.

I’ve been doing a lot of work lately. I’ve been working on a bunch of small projects for the CCFOF, designing a whole new site for Barak Drama, putting the final touches on Brian Mengini’s site, and Chosen Dance Company brought me a new client that they’re doing a program with up in Philly.

Zerflin is growing fast. In a post or two I’m going announce a new employee! We finished up the negotiations and he’s accepted the position; I just have to get his bio from him to put up on the Staff page. Tamika has also been taking on a larger role with managing the projects as well as doing some coding and design work as well.

I am looking forward to this break, though. The most I plan on doing these next 4 days is finishing up a logo, writing some quotes, and a few odds and ends. I just want to sleep. 🙂

Pray that I keep my wits about me through all this, and that I’m able to delegate and hire out to others when I can. It’s hard for me, because I want to both keep doing quality work and also be able to do the occasional pro-bono job (Mixed Chick’s Chat Mixed Roots Film and Literary Festival has been the latest), but still make enough money to help my family out and let the business grow. The quality part is the hard part; making sure that the people I hire do good work. I’ve been burned a couple times in the past; where people have done work for me and did a shoddy job… and I had to go in a do the whole thing all over again.

Time is the one thing I DON’T have, so to go in and clean something up after you trusted someone to handle it is really hard. But that’s growing pains I guess…

Nya is doing wonderfully. She loves being tickled now, and has the cutest laugh known to man. She also likes it when I make funny faces. She is still sleeping through the night, but we’ve been noticing she wakes up early sometimes.

Tamika and I have begun a schedule to help us not feel so frantic in the mornings. Nya goes to bed at 8:30, and we’ve started off by cutting off electronics (me on my computer and her on the TV) at 9:30. By 10 we’re in bed, though we can read and talk until we fall asleep. Then, at 6:00am, we both wake up, help each other out of bed, and then one of us gets to take a shower first, and the other takes care of Nya and fixes breakfast. At 6:30, we switch, and the one not taking a shower gets to eat and clean up, and gets to clean up something (like the pots and pans or empty the dishwasher. Then at 7 Talisha takes over for Nya and we’re out the door; Tamika drives me to the train station and she drives to work.
It helps us both get sleep and breakfast, which has been great for us; and keeps us from rushing too much.
Plus, since Nya wakes up by 6 anyway, it makes sure she gets fed and changed first thing.

Huh. Another ritual. 😀

Funny, though, all this ritual doesn’t keep me from still being a Savage. I still do wild and crazy things like jump off buildings and go exploring in the woods. I think the rituals help me be able to do that stuff, because everything else I’m sure is taken care of.
Who knows.
I’m weird. 🙂

Into the Wild

Just finished watching Into the Wild with Tamika and Talisha.

I don’t think I’ve ever more completely understood a character in a film more than I understood Christopher McCandless. The essence of the story is that he completely snaps all ties with society and adventures out on his own; ending up surviving off the land in an abandoned Alaskan transit bus.

The movie states that he’s essentially running from the violence, anger and abject materialism in his parents home.

And as I sat watching the movie; I couldn’t help but be struck with the thought that I could have been him.

If you know me well enough, you’d probably get the same feeling after watching the film.

Of course, I don’t know what Christopher was really like, or even if the film follows the non-fiction book written about him with any degree of similitude. But the film’s character…

Another thought I was stuck by was how grateful I am for my parents, and how they’re nothing like his parents. I truly couldn’t ask for a more supportive family; and the more people I meet in the States, the more I see how lucky I truly am. If it were not for them; I would probably be following Christopher’s fate.

I love you, Mom & Dad.

Has anyone else seen this movie? I’d love to hear what you thought.

the Split

the split, the divide, the break off, the disaffection, the estrangement, the fissure, riven, the rent, the rift, the rupture, the schism

As was suggested by my noble readers, I have decided to make it a little easier for everyone to pick a Journal Flavour.

As you probably know; RSS Adventures of a Young Savage is comprised of a couple different categories:

Reflections: Stories about me and what’s going on in my life.
Zerflin: Design, Photography & Business.
Artwork: Postings of New Artwork.
Ethnic: Controversial writing about race, equality, and the world.
Naskapi: News about the Naskapi First Nation in Kawawachikamach, Quebec.
Archive: Old Journal Entries pulled from other sources.

I’ve just made it easier for you to pick and choose which ones you subscribe to.

If you are already a subscriber to the site and get these by email; it’s really easy.

1. Log on to your account. (click here, or go to the right hand side of the jounal page and scroll down until you see the control panel. Then click on “Log in“)

Control Panel

2. Enter your username and password. If you don’t remember, select “Lost your Password“.

Login

3. Click on your username on the top right corner.

username

4. Select “Subscriptions”

Subscriptions

5. Click the checkboxes of the categories you’d like, and hit “Update Preferences”. That’s it!

Select Categories

If you subscribe using Google Reader, it’s also pretty easy.

Just click on any of these links, and select the Google Reader button.

RSS Adventures of a Young Savage (all categories)
RSS Reflections
RSS Zerflin
RSS Artwork
RSS Ethnic
RSS Naskapi
RSS Archive

But wait, there’s more!

With our new gallery system, there is now the option to subscribe to the gallery itself!

This means anytime we upload ANYTHING, you get to see it immediately.

RSS Check it out.

Martha Jancewicz (my grandmother) on TV

Who: Martha Jancewicz, 82, of Norwich.

Why you should know her: Jancewicz is the oldest member of the Connecticut Sun’s new Senior Dance Squad, a group of 50-and-older women who will perform during timeouts in five home games this season. The squad is sponsored by the Discover card.

Lucky 13: Thirteen women tried out a few weeks ago for a spot on the squad, and all were taken (one has since dropped out). Jancewicz says there was so much press coverage of the audition that she felt as if she were surrounded by the paparazzi.

Read the full article by Elissa Bass here…

I am tremendously proud of her… in addition to all this, she plays tennis, goes for daily walks and swims in her pool, and plays billiards like a pro.
I miss her, I wish we lived closer… 🙁

Tamika Jancewicz, Lacrosse Coach

Tamika was interviewed by Chay Rao of the Gazette, a Maryland Community Newspaper. He wrote a very nice article about the team, I was impressed to see good journalism done for a Varsity Lacrosse game.

Rockville’s girls lacrosse team thought it had conquered the lapses that caused the inconsistency that plagued its early games. The Rams came out fast in their 12-7 win over Einstein Friday, scoring four goals in eight minutes to take an early lead.

They gave it right back, though, and went into halftime tied and looking at a talking to from their coach, Tamika Jancewicz.

‘‘We needed to get back to the fundamentals,” she said. ‘‘Pass the ball, move and catch. Get the ground balls.”

Read the rest here…

Things just keep getting better

The Great Dissapator

Tamika has the incredible ability to take any frustration I have and completely dissolve it. I’m not entirely sure how, but she’ll say something softly and sweetly, gently listen to me, empathize, and even if it’s been boiling in me all day long, it’s gone within seconds.

I just discovered my boss Dinorah has the same ability. I got a chance to talk with her yesterday about my frustrations with being overloaded, and she very patiently listened to me, apologized for not helping me earlier, and worked with me to figure out ways to reduce the stress. Not only that, but she gave me control over more aspects of various jobs so I can adjust the workload myself.

I know I’ve said this before, but it’s incredible to have a boss that listens so intently to you and takes to heart everything you have to say.
Now, let me clarify; they both don’t just let me do as I wish. They tell me know when I’m being irrational, but because they listened, I trust everything they have to say.

That’s a skill I’ve got to learn at all costs.

4 Jobs

Overloaded?

Tamika pointed out to me yesterday that I have 4 jobs.
That’s a lot, I think.

I have my day job; as a Studio Artist at Merrick Towle.
I was also hired as an instructor at Merrick Towle as well; teaching InDesign for Beginners twice a week.
Then, of course, is Zerflin, which in itself is many many jobs (Accounting, Project Management, Photography, Illustration, Web Coding, Private Classes, etc etc etc). I count that as at LEAST two.

4 jobs.

Tamika works 2 right now, one at the National Fatherhood Initiative, and the other coaching the Rockville Rams Girls Lacrosse Team.
In addition to all this; we’re also raising a kid, and building a wall the basement from scratch (thanks Dad, for your help with that one).

I’ve also got various side projects in there too; like fixing a vintage motorcycle, selling artwork and designing a new social-networking game.

Wow.

I think I’m going to go to bed. 🙂

Idling

No More Work

I feel as though I am idling.

I’ve run out of work to do.
Well, sort of. I just found out that the hours I’ve been working extra are in vain… April seems to be a popular month to take off, and since so many people are taking days off, I can’t.
So, all of the hours I’ve saved up will slowly fly out the window.

I’ve been working too much, it turns out. Clocking over 50 hours a week on occasion. We only have one car, and since Tamika’s games run late, I have to wait until she gets here.
So I do work.
And clock ridiculous amounts of time.

Dinorah, my boss, suggest just “clocking out”, and doing whatever I please once I reach a certain number of hours. Bring in Zerflin work, for example, and just work on that.
It’s tough, though, because since I’m sitting here, all of the account executives automatically think I’m free and give me the rush/late/procrastinated jobs.
So I do them.
And clock lots of hours.

It also appears to the account executives that I have super-humanly fast design skills too, because their works is being done early (since I stay late and get it done). Consequently; I get more work.

I’m not complaining, by the way, just narrating.

I am a Radio Star

I was interviewed today by “Mixed Chicks Chat“, a “LIVE weekly podcast about being racially and culturally mixed”. They were looking for white fathers of racially mixed kids to be on their program, and because Nya definitely fit the category, I said sure.

My friend Ray Chung referred me to them. I thought the conversation, dealing with a lot of issues that don’t normally get talked about was very informative.

You can listen to the episode here.

You can check out their blog here.

You can listen to their other episodes here.

One small correction: In the interview I said Tamika’s family history was a little “messed up”. That’s not entirely true. While she nows absolutely nothing of her father’s extended family history, her mother’s family history has been meticulously mapped out by her cousin Ronald.

Rough cuts

Had my first rough day at work today… and to be honest, it wasn’t the entire day. Just the last half.

I’d been assigned a pretty big task; to complete several large boards with pockets for an awards presentation. Every so often at Merrick Towle, we or our clients submit work to various award shows. Most often our clients do the “submitting”, but we put the materials together for the presentation. There were several components to this particular job; 3 Letramax Illustration boards mounted with images and pockets, 2 CDs with labels, and a set of inserts and a spine for a display book.

The worst of it is, I felt honored that my boss (Dinorah Coton) had trusted me with the job, so I tried really hard to pull it off. Kelli Mcnamara is one of the nicest Account Executives, and this was her job. She was extremely patient and forgiving too.

I’m not the best with comps and cutting stuff. I haven’t done any since college. But Dinorah and Patrick Physioc (her right hand man) have been very patient with me and have given me quite a number of jobs requiring comping to get me back in practice.
And to be honest, I’d been doing pretty well. I’d put together several brochures (we make mockups that look like the finished printed piece) and boards (mounted examples to show the client) and had done pretty well. Not perfect; I had to redo a WHOLE bunch of them… but once I figured out how it was done I was pretty good.

Not so with this project.

To begin with, the pockets were pretty complicated.
First, you start out with a the board.
You place whatever you want to put in the pocket (in my case, brochures) on the board exactly where you want it, and with a pencil you mark the bottom corners, giving about 1/16th of an inch of room (so it’s not too tight).
Then you measure a few inches up vertically from those marks and make two more marks. This will be the top of the pocket.
You then use these 4 marks to cut out a tab in the shape of the letter U, connecting the points with 3 cuts. This part is REALLY really hard, and is where I kept messing up. I’m so out of practice that every other cut I make isn’t as straight as the one before, and it takes maybe 6 or 7 cuts to get all the way through the Illustration board.
After that, you cut a piece of transparency plastic that is larger than your pocket, and lay it on the back of the board. Lifting up on the cut, you pry up the bottom of the tab, and slip the plastic inbetween the board and the tab. This way, from the front, it looks like you have filled up the U with the plastic.
The plastic on the back is then folded over in on itself, and you put tape down to cover the cracks.
You can then slide the material into the pocket on the front.

All in all, it doesn’t seem like much, but remember, I had to do three of them. At least, I was supposed to. Patrick ended up picking up each component of the project as I continually messed up.
After I got through the first (successful) pocket, it was so late in the day that Dinorah suggested Patrick doing the rest.
Then, as I worked on the book, nearly every linked image in it (about 80% of them) were missing; moved to different folders. So for each one, I had to search for them and link them back up in order to fix it. And I got so caught up in doing that, however, that I forgot to add three new pages that Kelli had asked me to put in. Once it was finally ready, the file was so bulky that it crashed my computer, and every other computer I tried to print it from.
Even the CD labels, something so simple, gave me trouble. For some reason I could not figure out how to get them to print correctly on the label sheets… and then when they finally did, the words didn’t fit on it, and Patrick had to re-do the whole thing.

I was very ashamed. Because of all this, we missed the courier and Dinorah had to hand deliver part of it.
I felt terrible about it.

Bob Henninger, our IT guru, swung by my desk as I was packing up, and I lamented my troubles to him.
“Well,” he growled, “Ya learned somthin’ NEW didn’t cha? That’s wot’s important…”
I nodded.
“Well then, ask Dinorah to give you more pocket boards.”
I looked up in surprise. “More.”
“@#$% yeah, more. Ya gotta get yer practice up. You wanna make her proud? Do more of it! Ev’rybody’s gonna hava rough day. You’ll be alright.”
I nodded.

Tamika cheered me up even more on the ride home.
I think I will ask for more…