Fat Sitcom Dads

King of Queens Dad
King of Queens Dad

So, I was heating up my pizza lunch in the cafeteria today, and Matt and Natalie came in with their food, so I decided to eat with them. Someone had left the television on, and eventually our conversation turned to it.

Some mindless sitcom was on, and featured a dopey, middle-aged father, and smart, attractive wife.
And as we sat there, discussing the lameness of the show, we hit on an epiphany: every single sit-com has this combination! Every dad is overweight, and every mom is smart and attractive.

Keep in mind; I watch very little TV, but I was easily able to come up with more than a few. We were so stunned by this seemingly preposterously blatant attempt at a stereotype, that we tried to make a list, just looking at the dads.

King of Queens – fat
Everybody loves Raymond – pudgy
Family Matters – fat

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air – fat
The Simpsons
– fat
According to Jim – fat
Family Guy
– fat
George Lopez – fat
Married with Children – pudgy
House of Payne – fat

Cosby Show – skinny

I’m sure there are more, but all the recent ones were all fat! The fat dads far outnumber the skinny ones! And unless you go waay back (we’re talking Leave It To Beaver here) there aren’t any at all.

Why is this? Has america gotten comfortable with it’s pudgyness? What was it that changed the male image so much?

Somehow pizza for lunch didn’t seem so appetizing anymore…

Speaking Naskapi

Naskapi, written in beads
Naskapi, written in beads

Tamika encouraged me to speak more Naskapi to Nya the other day, and suddenly I had infinitely more respect for the displaced Naskapi parents out there trying  to teach their kids their native tongue.

Growing up there were a few kids at school who couldn’t speak Naskapi as well as I could, and I always thought this was kind of strange. Most often, the kid either grew up part of the time down south, away from the reservation, or had only one Naskapi parent (the other being Montagnais or European-Canadian).

These kids often struggled with Naskapi, and now it makes more sense. It’s a tiny language, with only 1000 or so speaking it. So, when thrust in competition with another more wide-spread language (Montagnais is huge, for example), the smaller language is harder to keep up.

So today, I tried talking to Nya in Naskapi.
And lo and behold, it ain’t easy. It felt extremely unnatural at first, I had to fight to remember phrases and words that were relevant.

I honestly have trouble talking to babies period. It seems a little weird, i’m more the type to just sit and work on something, listening to music.

Eventually, though, the teacher in me kicked in, and I began describing what I was doing to Nya. Even in Naskapi. The morning ritual of feeding her Cheerios and a bottle became “Chi wi michuuna cheerios, a?” (do you want to eat cheerios?) and “Chi wi min a?” (would you like to drink?). One of the words I can’t remember is milk. I’ll have to look it up online in the dictionary later.

Moving Trees

In our backyard we have a huge 8 foot stump. The tree it belonged to originally fell on the house before we bought it (the owner made the repairs). The owner then had most of the tree cut down and carted away, save for this massive stump about 3 feet in diameter.

Our Yard (in blue)
Our Yard (in blue)

Our house is a town house, and the yard out back is relatively narrow; the same width as the house (though we actually own an additional acre or two beyond it). The stump stands right at the far end of the yard, right smack dab in the middle. Cornering the edges of the yard closest to our house are two smaller trees. These trees are much skinnier, but quite tall… And instead of growing straight up, they each arc over our neighbors houses to the left and right.

I had ties some ropes to the young trees and anchored them around the stump in an effort to pull them away from the neighbors houses.
It worked quite well for a while, but then last month a set of harsh storms hit our area and pulled the stump out of the ground! I was incredulous! I didn’t think that stump was ever going to move…

So now this stump (a log, really) is lying lenghtwise in the middle of our yard, and has flattened what’s left of the old iron fence that was there with it.

The tow rope I had put around the stump to help bend the young trees is still on it, so yesterday I drove our Subaru back there to see if I could pull it. After 45 minutes, lots of rope, the neighbors’ hoist chain and a tying and untying knots, it was pretty apparent it wasn’t  going to move. The stump weighed nearly as much as the Subaru!

I guess I’ll have to get a chainsaw!

Most Evil Company

Today, the art directors put us in a room, and gave us a mock project. Work has been slow in the Design and Studio departments, so Mike and Roger, who share the design direction responsibilities, called us in to design a campaign for a product, company, or organization that we strongly disagree with.

The only trouble is, I’m the type that would much rather loose my job, than, for example, do work for the local Aryan chapter. That would definitely be shocking. So… should I go there?
And not only that, but certain political lines, I could easily see myself as being pro instead of con, so conversely, that wasn’t shocking enough.

I’ll have to think long and hard about this one…

Any ideas?

Minnie Uniam

Minnie and Ben

Minnie & Ben

Tamika and Minnie 3167

Tamika & Minnie

Minnie Uniams House

Minnie’s House

Nya and Minnie 13A_00013

Nya and Minnie

I recently discovered Minnie Uniam passed away. She was a lady I called Noohoom, “grandmother”. I was shocked when I found out. We went to visit her just this summer. The first time we visited, she got to sit with Nya. Minnie joked that Nya was a Naskapi baby, because her skin colour is so similar.

We were out walking the next day, and Minnie sent out word for us to stop by. We did, and she surprised us with tiny moccasins for Nya (you can see them in Tamika’s hands)! Minnie stayed up all night making them for us, because she knew we were leaving the next day.

She and her late husband were some of the dearest friends of ours when we lived on the reservation. I will never forget her…

Timi Kosmos Logo

My good friend and former classmate, Tolulope Ogundipe, asked me to design a logo for her conscious engineering company. Her goal is to use modern engineering to help the poor, hungry, and oppressed. There is no way I could turn her down…

Timi Kosmos Logo v2 4th DimensionalTimi Kosmos Logo v2 Celtic BlueTimi Kosmos Logo v2 CentrelineTimi Kosmos Logo v2 HeroTimi Kosmos Logo v2 Kiwi KuficTimi Kosmos Logo v2 KiwiTimi Kosmos Logo v2 MahoganishTimi Kosmos Logo v2 PalendineTimi Kosmos Logo v2 Planting Hand

Nick Machlan’s Photoshoot

My good friend and former roommate Nick Machlan (also a missionary kid (like me) from the Philippines) is breaking into the Philadelphia theatre scene, and needed some headshots for his auditions.
We did some standard shots, and then went outside for some more expressive ones. It was dark out, so I put my camera on a tripod, took my flashes out, and had him stand very still while I ran around flashing light at him. These are the result.

Nick Machlan American Eagle 4119Nick Machlan Brazil_4059 cropNick Machlan Himself 4084Nick Machlan Inferno 4136Nick Machlan Meditative 4093Nick Machlan World Cup 4190

A Boy.

This news is coming quite quite late, but we’re having a boy.

Come December, Nya will have a little brother! Tamika and I have been very very excited about the whole thing, but with all of the other craziness going on (the car, Tamika staying at home, the American economy deflating like a 2-week old balloon animal) I just haven’t had time to write about it.

He’s very healthy, and as Tamika will attest, it’s a very different pregnancy from Nya’s. Staying home helps a lot too, I think, and is allowing Tamika to “nest” a little more (read that in a pregnancy book for guys that my friend Chris Beard gave to me).

Tamika is going in for another sonogram soon, so I’ll post up pictures as soon as I have them.

Nya is doing great too! She’s standing up and edging around furniture. She hasn’t quite take her first step though, but if she’s not thinking about it, she can stand on her own for about 3 seconds (though as soon as she realizes she’s standing up, she sits down). She crawls and scoots her way all over the place, which has caused us to be a lot more thoughtful about picking things up! She also enjoys talking, clapping her hands, impersonating Popeye the Sailor, banging wooden spoons on over turned pots, and climbing stairs.
Yes, climbing stairs. Thankfully, Connie Molitor, an former coworker of ours, gave us a set of wooden gates for the stairs. However, because Nya is so small, she actually fits under the gate that leads upstairs. We turn around, and there she is, halfway up the stairs clapping her hands and smiling. We shoved a bolster pillow underneath the gate in the meantime, and occasionally allow her peak-scaling activities by following her up.

She hasn’t quite learned any words yet, but she’s close. She does say Bubba (for Bottle), and has a vocabulary of other sounds she likes to make. Ummm (like she’s about to say something), Abu, and Goyim-goyim-goyim are some of her favourites.

More later!

The Picnic, the Car, Baltimore, Québec City, Sept-Îles, Schefferville

-Originally written 7/24/2008-

Aloha!

I’m sitting in the club car of the Tshiuetin Railway, the only train between Schefferville and Sept-Îles.

The Picnic

The 2008 Mapp Family Reunion 01The 2008 Mapp Family Reunion 02The 2008 Mapp Family Reunion 03The 2008 Mapp Family Reunion 04
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On Sunday, Tamika, Talisha, Tom (Talisha’s boyfriend) and I all drove up to Philadelphia to go to the Mapp family reunion. Tamika’s mom (whom everyone calls “Angel” as a nickname) has the maiden name of Mapp, which is her father’s last name. So her whole side of the family was there. It was really nice. They held it in a park near the Philadelphia Zoo parking lot; a huge open area underneath a canopy of ancient trees. They had everything there. Ribs, hot dogs, hamburgers, coleslaw, 25 different flavours of chicken (curried, fried, baked, broiled, barbequed, blackened…) rice, beans, meatballs, sausages… and that doesn’t even count the hundreds of deserts and candies and drinks they had too!
Nya was already up there (she had spent the weekend with Tamika’s mom) and she was having a ball meeting everyone and being passed around. She’s learned how to clap her hands now when she’s excited, and will mimic you if you do it.

The Car

Tamika, Nya and I have been driving for the past two days.
Troy didn’t fix the Mercury in time for us to drive it, so we had to rent.
Tamika and I talked about it, and decided it would be the best decision, despite the price. I wanted to get a Mini Cooper or a convertible of some sort… just to make the long drive a little more tolerable, but in the end we agreed to just get whatever was cheapest.
Last time, we rented from Enterprise, which we used to drive to Connecticut. This time, however, when I called them to see if I could drive the car over the border, they said no way.
I did a little research; Budget, same thing. National, same thing. Alamo said I could, but they were expensive. Tamika and I wanted to go with the cheapest, smallest car available (which seemed like a Kia at most places. I checked up on Avis. Border crossing? No problem. And it was $200 cheaper than Enterprise.
On Monday, Tamika and I went in for her checkup. We were a little late, so it took longer than we originally planned, but it was cool to hear the heartbeat of the new baby! Everything was normal. We’re going to different doctor than we did last time; and they’re very nice. Very knowledgeable too. Nya’s checkup doctor seemed bit condescending to me when we used to go. The doctors paid little attention to me (I was at almost every visit). I understand their reasoning; I’m not the one giving birth… but when it came to things that Tamika should be doing or food she should be eating, or even how to take care of the baby after it’s born… they always talked to her.
After the appointment, we drove to the Avis in the Lakeforest Mall; right outside of the National Fatherhood Initiative.
The kid at the desk was really nice. We told him what we wanted, and was happy to oblige. However, once he looked through the system, he asked us if we would like to drive a convertible. They had a red convertible 2008 Misubishi Eclipse, which had two tiny cracks in the windshield. With such a defacement, it could no longer sell it at normal price, and so it was the same price as the economy cars we were looking at.
We thought about it, and decided to go with it. Tamika drove our Saturn to work, and the rental agent drove me to the lot to pick it up.
It was beautiful. Candy apple red, with a black mesh and leather interior and matching top.
I took the top down and drove it home feeling like a king. I’d never driven a car like that before; every car I’d owned had something wrong with it. I wasn’t accustomed to such luxury.
I drove to the birth certificate office near our house. I needed to get some sort of paperwork proving Nya was ours so that we could take her with us.
When I got there, someone told me I should hurry up to get there before they closed down for the day, so I ran.
Waiting in line at the office, I suddenly realized I no longer had my phone. I knew I had in the car; Tamika had called me from her office on my way back… but I couldn’t leave. The office was indeed closing, and because I had to take a number to be waited on, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get back in if I went to look for my phone.
I was miserable. It took 30 minutes for them to process my request, but it seemed like hours. As soon as I had it, I dashed out the door, asking everyone I saw. No one had seen it. I ran out to the car. Not there. Not under the seats. Not in the parking lot.
I was frustrated. I drove to the gas station, and filled up. I had the thought that maybe I should leave my information with the security people back at the office.
I drove back.
It was hot. REALLY hot. Maybe 95-100º F. But I didn’t notice.
I ran back to the office. I asked the security. Nothing. I left them a note. I asked some more officers. Passersby. Anyone.
Nothing.
I ran back out to the parking lot, and ran around everywhere. Nothing.
Dejected, I drove home.
Once I got home, I felt a tingling feeling on my neck and arms.
I was burnt crispy. All red.
I sat in the reading room chair, wondering what to do.
I noticed the light on the answering machine was blinking. Tamika had left me a message. Someone had found the phone!
Apparently when I was running, I had dropped it, and some lady who was shopping picked it up and called my parents. They directed her to Tamika, and Tamika called the house.
I called the lady’s husband up, and he agreed to meet me that evening with the phone.
I spent the rest of the day cleaning, doing laundry, packing and preparing food for the trip.
At 9 I went to pick up my phone. Turns out that the lady’s husband, David Muhammad, owns a media company! We exchanged information. His team seems pretty cool, and he said he was looking for some help with some graphic design! We’ll see what happens.

Baltimore to Québec City

Driving to Quebec City 01Driving to Quebec City 02Driving to Quebec City 03Driving to Quebec City 04Driving to Quebec City 05

Early Monday morning, we took off for Canada. I had fit everything we needed in the Mitsubishi, and we drove for most of the morning with the top down (up until it got hot). We took I-83 north to Harrisburg, and then continued on I-81 all the way up to 1,000 Islands. I’d never crossed the border up there; it is really beautiful. Right before the border was a really tall bridge that led us onto one of the main islands, and down below you could see the most beautiful lakehouses, yaghts, jetskis, people swimming… all nestled among these islands overflowing with pine trees.
We crossed the border without a hitch, and continued on up.
In Québec, we hit some fierce thunderstorms. Huge thunderheads, at least a mile wide and several miles high crashed down on us, turning the roads outside of Montréal to rivers and turning the visibility to practically nothing. The Mitsubishi had some really nice tires on it, though, so we stayed firm on the road.
Late Monday night we met up with my parents at Le Comfortel in Québec City.

Québec City to Sept-Îles

Driving to Sept-Îles 01Driving to Sept-Îles 02Driving to Sept-Îles 03Driving to Sept-Îles 04Driving to Sept-Îles 05Tadoussac Ferry to Sept-Îles 01Tadoussac Ferry to Sept-Îles 03Tadoussac Ferry to Sept-Îles 07Tadoussac Ferry to Sept-Îles 08Tadoussac Ferry to Sept-Îles 13Tadoussac Ferry to Sept-Îles 14

Tuesday morning we got up bright and early and took 40 north along the St. Lawrence, caravanning wit my parents. They wanted to take Nya along in their car (plus, she didn’t seem to enjoy sitting alone in the back of the Mitsubishi), so I installed the car seat in the back of their Taurus. It was a beautiful ride. I love that part of the trip just because there is so much to see. And surprisingly, it didn’t make Tamika sick at all. That ride always made me and my brother and sister motion sick when we were younger.
We crossed the ferry at Tadoussac. I saw the back of a whale briefly, but I don’t think anyone else caught it.
Just outside Sept-Îles we stopped at the beach… but there was very little wind in the parking lot and within seconds we were suffocated with black flies. Even though there was a nice breeze on the beach, we decided on to stay and continue on to Sept-Îles.

Sept-Îles to Schefferville

Train to Schefferville 01Train to Schefferville 02Train to Schefferville 03Train to Schefferville 04Train to Schefferville 05Train to Schefferville 06Train to Schefferville 07Train to Schefferville 08Train to Schefferville 09Train to Schefferville 10Train to Schefferville 11Train to Schefferville 12

This morning we got up from the Comfort Inn (next to Mike’s restaurant) and drove to the train station. It’s really cool to see the train completely native run. About 4 years ago, the Naskapis and Montagnais got together and purchased the railway from the Iron Ore Company of Canada (IOC) and have been working on getting it repaired. This summer they got a grant from the government to repair it.
It’s been a beautiful ride so far. Tamika stood out in the vestibule with me watching the scenery, and got to see the Tonka Falls.
I just realize I made a grave mistake, though… I left the battery charger to my camera at home!!! I packed 16 GB worth of memory cards, and now my battery is just about dead!! My dad and I are going to see if we can rig something when we get home.

Twi, Troy, & Free Music

Twi

Tamika and I invited Twi over for dinner last night; it was spur of the moment and we ordered subs and cheesy fries from Pizza House. It was nice to just relax. We talked and laughed, and watched the BET Awards. Good performances.
At one point Chris Brown did a routine with Ciara in which they used a huge waterfall mechanism in the background, which spelled out shapes and letter as they performed. I thought it was a pretty cool effect.

Troy

I talked to Troy when I got home from work; and he had bad news. Troy had been employed by a landlord of one of the houses on our street; Bill Pound.
Troy had been doing general repairs as well as some plumbing work in the house, but unfortunately, he and Bill had a falling out. Troy had been storing the parts (the axle, among other things) behind the house, and after their falling out, Bill had cleaned up the backyard and thrown everything away.
Troy was very apologetic about it, and said he was just going to buy the parts from the scrapyard again in the morning, since it was his fault.
In addition to this, Troy hasn’t been able to find the keys I gave him to the car. He said he would buy an ignition and door locks if he wasn’t able to find them.
I asked him if he would also check the tire pressure for the wheel. When the SUV hit the Mercury, it may have bent the rim. In any case, the tire won’t hold pressure anymore. Fortunately, there was a full size spare in the trunk of the car, which Troy planned on putting on my rim. If it doesn’t hold air, I asked him to get me a new rim too.

Free Music

Back in 1999, Napster was my friend. I loved free music. I was a poor MK, so buying $20 CDs really wasn’t in my budget. It was right when my family had come down to the States, so I had a lot of music to catch up on. And so, with an old 286 that my dad had spraypainted the case of (my present for Christmas) I was a downloading fiend. Armed with a CD burner and a RCA Shockwave CD player, I was a king.

Two years later, Napster was dead, and I had turned to other things like mp3.com and Epitonic for my free music buzz. When they moved on, I discovered Pandora.

Now, I’ve discovered that some sites offer mp3s over RSS feeds. Which means if you have Google Reader, you can play, and decide to download them right there (no visiting numerous sites to try and find music). Whenever music is uploaded, it shows up in Reader. And if you really like the song, you can click on the link and see the rest of their work.

Here are a few feeds I’ve found so far:

http://www11.nrk.no/urort/ – a Norwegian music site. Wide variety, including a surprising volume of english material

http://freeitunessongs.blogspot.com/ – Keeps track of the free music that iTunes periodically releases (you must have a (free) iTunes account

http://freemusic.freeculture.org/media/feed/atom/media – Very wide variety, but typically lots of World music. Pop and rock mixed in there too.

Let me know if you find some more!